Sliding Frasiers Written by Dan O'Shannon
& Bob Daily
Directed by Pamela Fryman
=====================================================================
Production Code: 8.13.
Episode Number in Production Order: 178.
Original Airdate on NBC: February 13, 2001.
Filmed November 14, 2000.
Transcript written on February 18, 2001.
[Note: The title and concept of this episode come from the movie
"Sliding Doors" in which a young woman's life takes two very different
paths based on whether she catches a subway train.]
Transcript {David Langley}
Act 1
Scene 1 - Cafe Nervosa
THIS GETS TRICKY,
SO PAY ATTENTION
[Fade in. Frasier and Roz are having coffee together.]
Frasier: All right, if you must know, I'm just about to leave for
something called a "speed date".
Roz: What's a speed date?
Frasier: Well, apparently it's the latest thing: Twelve men and
twelve women get together in a room. They spend eight
minutes talking to one other and then move on to the next
person after a bell rings. Basically, it's all the stress
and humiliation of a blind date...times twelve.
Roz: Wow, talk about desperate. So what brought this on?
Frasier: Well, I'm just so tired of being surrounded by happy couples,
I just thought I should do something a bit more proactive.
Roz: You wouldn't be talking about Niles and Daphne, would you?
Frasier: Oh, among others. Believe me, no one could be happier for
Niles than I, but there are days when his lovesick swain act
wears the tiniest bit thin.
[Niles walks up. He is carrying a shopping bag and his jacket. He is
wearing a t-shirt (!) that has a heart-shaped picture of Daphne and him
on it surrounded by red hearts. He has a huge grin on his face.]
Niles: Hello, all.
[He holds a pose in front of them. Frasier rolls his eyes.]
Niles: Notice anything different?
Roz: I like it.
Niles: Thank you. I've never worn an undergarment in public before.
Frasier: Is that my sweater?
Niles: Oh, yes, here. What's the emergency?
[He hands over the bag and sits.]
Frasier: Well, actually, I was going out this evening and I was
thinking about changing my attire. While the suit projects
a certain professionalism, you know "Dr. Frasier Crane", I
was thinking perhaps the sweater could impart a more casual
feel, "Just Fraizh". [He holds the sweater up.] Any
thoughts?
Roz: [after a beat she turns to Niles] So I bet you and Daphne
have big Valentine's Day plans.
Niles: Oh, yes. She's cooking dinner for me and then I've a big
surprise planned. I'm taking her to Cancun for a long
romantic weekend.
Roz: Not bad!
Niles: Yes, I'm whisking her to the airport in a limo filled with
exotic orchids. You don't think that's a too over the top,
do you?
Roz: No, I think that boat sailed with your t-shirt.
Frasier: Here's an idea: what if put the sweater under the jacket?
Then I'll get the best of both worlds.
Niles: [rising] Honestly, Frasier, could you be more self-absorbed?
Goodbye, Roz. If you want to know more about our trip, we'll
have pictures on our website when we get back.
[He leaves. Roz turns back to Frasier who is still fussing with the
sweater.]
Roz: Oh, for God's sake, Frasier, flip a coin.
Frasier: I know this may seem like nothing to you, Roz, but the
tiniest decision can shape your whole destiny. So, which
path should I follow? [He begins raising and lowering the
sweater in front of himself.] Sweater? Suit. Sweater?
Suit. Sweater?
Roz: [grabbing her head] Oh just pick one!
Frasier: Fine, you're right. Okay, fine. We'll go with...the suit.
[He puts the sweater back in the bag and rises.]
Roz: You made the right choice.
Frasier: Wish me luck.
[He starts to walk out, but bumps into a man (Mike) getting up from a
stool at the counter.]
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. Pardon me. Say, don't you work at KACL?
Mike: Yeah, I just started. Mike Schafer.
[They shake hands.]
Frasier: Oh, hi, Mike. Frasier Crane. Have you met Roz Doyle?
Mike: No.
Frasier: Oh, you are new, aren't you?
[Roz gives him a look.]
Roz: Can I buy you a cup of coffee?
[Frasier again turns to leave. However, a young woman (Monica) spills
a cup of coffee as she hands it to a waitress is holding and jumps up,
backing her chair into him and knocking him to the floor.]
Monica: Oh, my god.
Roz: Frasier! Are you okay?
[She helps him up.]
Frasier: Well, I, ow! Gosh, I think I've wrenched my shoulder.
Monica: Oh, I am so sorry.
Frasier: No, that's all right. Ow!
Monica: Oh, I'm taking you to the emergency room. Please, it's the
least I can do.
Roz: Frasier, I have my care right outside, I'll take you.
[Frasier gives her a meaningful look.]
Frasier: Roz, don't you have coffee waiting? [He turns to Monica.]
Hi, I'm Frasier.
Monica: I'm...Monica. You must think I'm such a klutz!
Frasier: No, not at all.
[They exit and then the entire scene slides to the right and we are
back at the point where Frasier is deciding on his attire.]
Roz: Oh, for God's sake, Frasier, flip a coin.
Frasier: I know this may seem like nothing to you, Roz, but the
tiniest decision can shape your whole destiny. So, which
path should I follow? [He begins raising and lowering the
sweater in front of himself.] Sweater? Suit. Sweater?
Suit. Sweater?
Roz: [grabbing her head] Oh just pick one!
Frasier: Fine, you're right. We'll go with...the suit.
[He puts the sweater back in the bag and rises, then puts it back on
the chair.]
Frasier: No, no, the sweater.
Roz: You made the right choice.
[Mike gets up, not running into Frasier, but colliding with Monica as
she spills the cup and jumps up.]
Monica: Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
Mike: That's okay, no harm done.
Frasier: Good lord, what a klutz. All right, Roz, wish me luck.
Roz: Good luck!
[He exits past Mike and Monica who are shaking hands.]
Mike: Mike Schaefer. Looks like you're gonna need another cup of
coffee.
Monica: Uh, yeah.
[Fade out.]
Scene 2 - A Hospital Examination Room
TWO ROADS DIVERGED...
AND I TOOK THEM BOTH
[Fade in. Frasier is sitting on the exam table, his arm in a sling.
Monica is with him.]
Monica: You know, you're not the first guy I've sent to the emergency
room.
Frasier: Ah.
Monica: When I was ten my brother fell off my handlebars and broke
his foot. Then, in art school, a pottery wheel got away from
me and sort of rolled down some stairs and I broke one guy's
knee and another guy's hip.
Frasier: I suppose after that you went on a kiln spree.
Monica: Uh, yeah. I guess you could say I've broken more than my
share of bones.
Frasier: And more than your fair share of hearts, I'm sure.
Monica: I don't know about that.
[She leans against a cart and it rolls back to bang into the wall.]
Monica: Frasier, I am so sorry about your arm. I hope I haven't
ruined your plans.
Frasier: No, actually, I didn't have anything special planned.
[The scene slides to the uninjured Frasier in the midst of the speed
date, talking to a woman (Judy).]
Judy: Hey, have you heard about the new pirate movie? It's rated
"Aarrhh!".
Frasier: Yes, that's very droll.
Judy: Get it? Aarrhh!
Frasier: Yes, I do.
Judy: That's sort of my test joke, you know, to see if a guy's cool
or not? Can you believe it, you're the first guy here who
laughed? I mean, can't you just see it: a pirate walks into
a movie theater, he's got his eye patch and his peg leg and...
[A bell sounds.]
Judy: Boy that did not feel like eight minutes.
Frasier: [dripping irony] Indeed it did not.
[Fade out.]
Scene 3 - Frasier's Apartment
[Fade in. Martin is watching a movie on TV. Frasier (uninjured) comes
in the front.]
Martin: Hey Fraizh! How did that speed date thing go?
Frasier: It could not have been worse.
Martin: That's nice.
[Frasier goes to hang up his coat.]
Frasier: You're not listening, Dad.
[Martin turns down the volume.]
Martin: Oh, I'm sorry, Son. Well, you get any phone numbers?
Frasier: No, but if I ever want to track any of them down, I can
always write them, care of...the bottom of the barrel.
[He takes off his name tag. There is a knock at the door.]
Martin: Ah, that's too bad.
[Frasier opens the door to reveal Daphne who is holding three bags of
groceries.]
Frasier: Oh, hi, Daphne. Let me give you a hand with that.
[He takes two of the bags and she comes in.]
Daphne: Oh, thank you, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: You're really loadin' up, aren't you?
Daphne: It's for Niles' Valentine's dinner.
Frasier: Oh, that's not 'til next week.
Daphne: Yeah, but it's a complicated recipe. I need to practice.
You two are going to be my guinea pigs.
[She heads into the kitchen.]
Martin: Maybe we can fake our own deaths.
[Frasier notices something in one of the bags and reaches for it.]
Frasier: Daphne? Are you planning on using cumin in this recipe?
Daphne: Yeah, the recipe calls for lots of it.
Frasier: Oh, lord, Niles is terribly allergic to cumin.
Daphne: Oh, dear. I knew about the scallops. And the nutmeg, the
oat bran, wheat germ, carob, parchment mites...
Frasier: Yes, yes, I know. He tried to wearing an allergy tag, but
his neck was too weak to support it.
[The phone rings.]
Martin: [rising] D'you see that? The character in this movie dialed
the phone and at the exact same time, our phone rang. It's
like Montgomery Cliff's callin' me.
Frasier: Yes, that's fascinating, Dad.
[He goes to stare out the window and then sits at the piano.]
Martin: Hello? ... Oh, hey, Niles. ... [he looks towards the kitchen]
No, she can't hear. ... Ah, geez. I don't know about that.
... Well, all right, if it means that much to you, I'll do
it. ... Yeah, bye.
[He hangs up.]
Martin: That was your brother. He wants me to pack a suitcase for
Daphne for her trip to Cancun. Now I'm gonna have to go
through her unmentionables.
Frasier: I wonder if I'll ever see another unmentionable.
Martin: Ah, come on, Frasier, it was just one bad date.
Frasier: It was twelve bad dates. And a hundred before that. [he
lightly plays the piano and starts singing] I'm through with
love...I'll never call again...
[Daphne comes in from the kitchen to set the table.]
Martin: You're gonna be like this all night, aren't you? [to Daphne]
It breaks my heart to see him like this. Fortunately, I can't
see him from McGinty's.
[He heads for the door and the scene slides to Frasier, his arm in a
sling, entering the apartment.]
Martin: Hey Fraizh! How did that speed date thing go?
Frasier: Actually, I didn't go, Dad. I went to the hospital instead.
Martin: That's nice.
[Frasier goes to hang up his coat.]
Frasier: Dad, you're not listening.
[Martin turns down the volume.]
Martin: Oh, I'm sorry son. [he turns and sees Frasier's arm] What
happened? Are you all right?
Frasier: Actually, I tripped and sprained my shoulder, but I'm
actually feeling no pain because I met a beautiful young
woman.
Martin: Oh, is she a nurse?
[There is a knock at the door.]
Frasier: No, she's the girl that tripped me. Her name is Monica,
she's a commercial artist, she's cute as a button, and a
she's a danger to herself and others.
[He opens the door to reveal Daphne holding the groceries.]
Frasier: Oh, hi, Daph.
Daphne: Could you give me a hand here?
Frasier: Well, I would, except I sprained my shoulder.
Martin: Bullet in the hip.
Daphne: You still have one good arm, Dr. Crane.
Frasier: The doctor told me to take it easy.
[Daphne struggles to fit all the bags through the door.]
Frasier: Oh, I met a girl today!
Daphne: [heading to the kitchen] Yeah, so did she.
Frasier: You know what? It might be a bit soon, but I think I'm gonna
give Monica a call.
[He pulls out his cell phone as the apartment phone rings.]
Martin: [rising] D'you see that? The character in this movie dialed
the phone and at the exact same moment, our phone rings.
It's like Montgomery Cliff's callin' me.
Frasier: Say hello to him for me.
Martin: Hello? ... Oh, hey, Niles. ... [he looks towards the kitchen]
No, she can't hear. ... Ah, geez. I don't know about that.
Frasier: Hi, Monica. ... Yeah, injured anybody lately? [he laughs]
... Really? ... I was calling because I thought maybe we
could have dinner tomorrow night. I don't know, maybe we
could meet at Cafe Nervosa around seven and go from there?
... Wonderful. ... Great. I'll see you tomorrow. Goodnight.
[He hits the disconnect and laughs smugly.]
Frasier: She said "Yes"!
Martin: Hey!
[Frasier reaches for the stereo and turns on samba music.]
Frasier: Tomorrow night, I have a date with an angel!
[He begins dancing, a big grin on his face.]
Martin: Oh, you're gonna be like this all night, aren't you?
Daphne: McGinty's?
Martin: I'm way ahead of you.
[They head for the door. Fade out.]
Act 2
Scene 1 - Cafe Nervosa
[Fade in. Frasier (his arm in a sling) is having coffee with Roz.]
Frasier: So we had dinner again on Thursday night, and then again on
Friday. She had plans with her parents on Saturday, so, to
keep our streak alive, I actually sent her a videotape of me
eating and talking into the camera.
Roz: That's cute!
Frasier: You don't think it's a little too much?
Roz: No. If you like her, go for it.
Frasier: So how are things with Mike?
Roz: Good. He's taking me to the Heart Association benefit for
Valentine's Day.
Frasier: I'm going too. You know Roz, I think this a first: you and
I in happy relationships at the same time.
[They touch cups and drink. Monica comes in.]
Monica: Hey, Roz. Hi Frasier. How's your head?
Frasier: [rising] Uh, it's better actually. My peripheral vision's
coming back.
Monica: [laughing] Oh, good. So sorry. Listen, everyone at work's
talking about the beautiful flowers you sent me. Thank you.
Frasier: Wait 'til you see what's coming next. You won't be able to
thank me in public.
Monica: Frasier, I hate to break it to you, but you don't have to
keep sending me flowers and poetry. You officially have my
attention.
[They kiss.]
Monica: I'm gonna get some coffee.
Frasier: Oh, let me get that for you.
Monica: No. You're sweet, but I think I can get my own coffee.
Roz: Looks like all that hard work you've been doing is paying
off.
Frasier: Well, I'm not about to let up now. I never want her to feel
as if she's being taken for granted.
Roz: Wow. You're giving Niles a run for his money.
Frasier: Oh, please. In the great golden book of love, Niles will be
a mere footnote to my glorious saga. I'm gonna take his ball
and run it to the end zone. [nervously] Is that a thing?
Roz: Yes.
Frasier: Good.
[They sip their coffees. Fade out.]
Scene 2 - Frasier's Apartment
THE MOST MAGICAL
NIGHT OF THE YEAR
[Fade in. Frasier (uninjured) is sitting on the couch in jeans and a
sweatshirt, eating a bag of potato chips and watching TV. Martin comes
in with a beer.]
Martin: Oh, come on, Fraizh. You've been moping around here all
week. Why don't you join me at McGinty's? It's crazy around
there on Valentine's Day. Last year McGinty hired this fat
guy in a diaper to go around shooting a bow and arrow at
people. No, wait. That might have been the Super Bowl.
Frasier: You had me right up until "diaper", Dad.
[Niles and Daphne hurry in from the kitchen, giggling.]
Niles: You guys, you guys! You have to see this. Wait, wait, look:
Daphne has sauce on her nose! Is that the cutest thing you've
ever seen in your life? Wait, wait, let me get it.
[He leans in and kisses it off.]
Niles: Yumm.
Daphne: You've got some on your neck.
[She kisses it off his neck and they start tickling each other.]
Niles: All right, seriously, wait. I was going to wait 'til after
dinner to tell you this, but I can't: In three hours you and
I are going to be on a plane to Cancun!
Daphne: Oh, I barely have time to pack!
Niles: It's already taken care of, Dad packed a bag for you.
Daphne: Oh, Mr. Crane!
[She gives Martin a big kiss on the cheek.]
Daphne: I've never been this happy in my life!
Niles: I'm happier than you are!
[They continue to chatter a moment until Frasier interrupts.]
Frasier: Excuse me, somebody trying to watch "Behind the Music", here.
[Niles and Daphne go back into the kitchen as the phone rings. Frasier
picks it up from the couch.]
Frasier: Hello? ... Yeah, hi, Roz. ... No, no I'm not going to the
benefit. ... Yeah, I'll bet she's got a great personality.
... Yes, well, thanks anyway, Roz. Listen, you have a good
time. Right, goodnight.
Martin: Roz find you a date for tonight?
Frasier: Yeah, she's going with some guy lives her building, he's got
a sister.
Martin: Hey, you oughta go. Beats hangin' around here feeling sorry
for yourself.
Frasier: Dad, please. The only thing worse than a blind date would
be a blind date on Valentine's Day. Okay? I couldn't
imagine a worse way to spend an evening.
[Niles and Daphne again come from the kitchen, giggling even louder.]
Niles: You have to see this!
[He and Daphne take a spaghetti noodle and each start on one end. They
eat until they meet in the middle, a la the scene from "Lady and the Tramp".]
Niles: Let's get more! Come on, come on, let's do it again!
[They rush back to the kitchen and Frasier lifts the phone.]
Frasier: Maybe Roz hasn't left yet.
[The scene slides to Frasier (his arm in a sling) standing in the
apartment, wearing a tuxedo.]
Frasier: It's now 7:45. At this precise moment, she should be
receiving a jeroboam of chilled champagne.
Martin: You're really layin' it on thick, aren't ya?
Frasier: Oh, God, Dad, you don't know the half of it. This morning
she was awakened by a string quartet on her porch. Then,
when Monica arrived at her office, there were seven dozen
roses on her desk. A dozen for every day that I've known
her.
[Niles and Daphne hurry from the kitchen. Niles is twitching and blinking.]
Daphne: I'm sorry!
Martin: What happened?
Daphne: He's having some kind of reaction to the sauce.
Niles: [scratching] Did you put scallops in it?
Daphne: No.
Frasier: Nutmeg?
Daphne: No.
Martin: Wheat germ?
Daphne: No.
Frasier: Carob?
Daphne: No.
Niles: Cumin?
Daphne: Maybe.
Niles: Oh, this is a disaster! We have reservations to fly to Cancun
tonight!
Daphne: Really?
Niles: Well we can't go now! I can't possibly sit still on a plane
for five hours with this rash you've given me!
Frasier: Now, Niles, don't let a little mistake disturb the most
magical evening of...
Niles: Oh, the whole weekend is ruined!
Daphne: Well, I said I was sorry!
Niles: I even had Dad pack a bag for you!
Daphne: You did what? You let him go through my things? How could
you?!
[She slaps Martin on the arm.]
Niles: I'm sorry! I was trying to something nice for our first
Valentine's Day!
Daphne: Well what do you think I was trying to do?
[She stomps off to the kitchen as Niles continues scratching
furiously.]
Daphne: Now I'm going to have to spend the whole night rubbing lotion
all over you.
[They both freeze. Daphne turns around.]
Niles: I'm sorry I yelled at you.
[They embrace and kiss.]
Niles: You have sauce on your nose. Let me get it.
[They go off to Daphne's room.]
Daphne: You've got some on your neck.
[Fade out.]
Scene 3 - The Benefit Dinner
[Fade in. Frasier comes in with Monica.]
Frasier: Hey, Roz. Where's Mike?
Roz: Oh, he's parking the car. Monica, what gorgeous corsage.
Monica: Oh, thank you. It was a gift from Frasier. Along with about
a million roses.
[Kenny comes up holding a flattened top hat.]
Kenny: Hello, young lovers.
[He pops the hat out and puts it on.]
Frasier: Oh, Kenny, look at you.
Kenny: What can I say? Under this gruff exterior beats the heart
of a true romantic. I just love love.
Roz: So where's your wife?
Kenny: She had plans.
Roz: Come on, Kenny, I'll buy you a drink.
Kenny: Great.
[She leads him off, Frasier leads Monica to a table.]
Frasier: Why don't we sit down? Here we are, let me.
[He holds her chair an they sit.]
Frasier: I was thinking perhaps, after the party, we could take a
carriage ride in the park and make our way to your place
where, I believe, there is a two pound box of chocolate
truffles waiting for you.
Monica: Oh, two pounds. Wow.
Frasier: Yes, well, your sister told me that truffles were your
favorite.
Monica: You talked to Sharyl? I haven't talked with her in months.
Frasier: Well you'll have your chance on Sunday, we're having dinner
with her and Jack.
[He leans in to kiss her. When he tries again, she turns her head.]
Monica: There's a lot of people here.
Frasier: Oh, yes of course, I understand.
[The scene slides to Frasier (uninjured) entering the benefit wearing
a suit and tie. Monica and Mike are dancing just inside and kissing.
Frasier glances jealously at them.]
Roz: Hey Frasier!
Frasier: Hi, Roz.
Roz: Hi. Happy Valentine's Day.
Frasier: Same to you.
Roz: This is my date, Robert.
Frasier: Hello.
Robert: Nice to meet you.
Frasier: Nice to meet you, too. Well, Roz, listen, thanks for getting
me out of the house. I'd been sitting there feeling sorry
for myself long enough.
Roz: That's the spirit!
Frasier: You know, on the way over here, I was actually getting
excited over meeting someone new.
Robert: Here's my sister now.
Frasier: Oh.
[He rises and turns to greet Judy, the woman from the speed date.]
Judy: Oh, my God! Aarrhh!
Frasier: Aarrhh!
Judy: Aarrhh!
Frasier: Okay.
Roz: Wow, looks like you two already know each other. You even
have your own language.
Judy: It must be fate.
Frasier: [pained] It must be.
[The scene slides to Frasier and Monica dancing.]
Frasier: For you.
[He pulls a rose from his sling.]
Monica: Oh, another rose. Frasier, I appreciate everything you're
doing, the flowers, the carriage ride, the "Love Is..."
cartoons from the newspaper...
Frasier: It's just a drop in the ocean compared to what you deserve.
[The tune finishes up and they go back to the table.]
Emcee: That song was dedicated to Mr. and Mrs. Terry Craypence,
celebrating their thirtieth anniversary.
Monica: That's so cute.
Frasier: Well, I'm glad to hear you say that. You wait right here.
Monica: Okay.
[Frasier goes to the stage and takes the microphone.]
Frasier: Good evening everybody, I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. Normally I
deal with matters of the head, but tonight I'd like to share
what's in my heart. Monica, this is for you.
[He begins singing.]
Frasier: Have I a hope or half a chance,
To even think that I could dance with you? Ooh, ooh.
Would you greet me or politely turn away?
Would there suddenly be sunshine on a cold and rainy day?
Oh, babe, what would you say?
[He hops off the stage and goes over to the Craypence couple.]
Frasier: Yes, oh, baby I know,
I know I could be so in love (congratulations) with you.
And I know that I could make you love me too.
And if I could hear you say the words you do, ooh, ooh.
Well anyway, what would you say?
[He ends up kneeling in front of Monica, the microphone in front of
her. She puts her hand over it, but when she speaks, everyone can
hear.]
Monica: Frasier, we need to talk.
Kenny: Ouch!
[Dissolve to Frasier and Monica saying goodbye.]
Monica: Don't get me wrong, Frasier. Everything you did was nice,
it was just...too much. You made me feel like a project and
not a person.
Frasier: Well, I could tone things down. And we could start fresh.
How about lunch tomorrow? You see, I was going to say breakfast.
Monica: I think I should go.
Frasier: I see. Well, you know, I'll get my car.
Monica: No, that's okay. I'm gonna get my stuff and just take a cab.
So, [she kisses him] bye.
[She kisses him and walks off. Roz comes over.]
Roz: Are you okay?
Frasier: Well, I'm humiliated.
Roz: Oh, Frasier, no one even noticed what happened.
[Kenny walks by on his way out. He stops and pats Frasier on the
shoulder.]
Kenny: Ouch.
[He leaves.]
Frasier: It's my own fault, really. I guess I just saw what Niles had
and I pushed too hard to get it for myself.
Roz: Well, if it means anything, I thought what you did was terribly romantic.
Frasier: Well, maybe...
Roz: Come on, let me walk you to your car.
Frasier: Oh, well, what about Mike?
Roz: Oh, it'll only be a few minutes, he'll be fine.
[As they walk out, Monica is putting her wrap on. She throws it over
her shoulder and the end hits Mike, spilling his drink.]
Monica: Oh, I'm sorry. I am such a klutz.
Mike: That's okay. Really, it's fine.
Monica: Let me get you another drink. Please, it's the least I can
do.
Mike: I guess that'd be okay. Mike.
Monica: Monica.
[They shake hands, obviously taken with each other. Fade out.]
Scene 4 - Frasier's BMW
[Fade in. Frasier is driving home and has taken his tuxedo jacket off.
The radio is on.]
Announcer: We now return to a repeat broadcast of "The Best of Crane".
Please do not call in.
Frasier: [voice over from the radio] Before the break we were
talking to Phil, who's having trouble getting over a
relationship. Phil, if you're listening, it might help to
keep in mind the old adage: It's better to have loved and
lost than never to have loved at all.
Frasier: I do make a good point.
[The scene slides to Frasier (uninjured), also in his BMW heading home.]
Frasier: What a load of crap!
Frasier: [v.o.] Let's go to our next caller.
Rachel: [v.o.] Hi, this is Rachel. I just want to let you know, I
read that Thurber book you quoted, and man is he funny!
Frasier: [v.o.] Glad you liked him.
Rachel: [v.o.] I also have a confession to make: You know, I have
a big crush on you.
Frasier: [v.o.] Oh, well, I'm flattered, Rachel, but I make it a
policy not to date my callers.
Rachel: [v.o.] Well, if you ever change you mind, I'm the chef at
the Columbia Street Grill. You should come by sometime.
[Frasier gets a thoughtful look in his eyes. The scene slides to the
injured Frasier with the same look. Cut to - a long shot of Frasier's
BMW at a stoplight. The other BMW merges into it as the two worlds
converge again. Frasier pulls a u-turn at the intersection. Fade
out.]
Credits:
Martin is watching TV and drinking a beer, Eddie at his side. The
scene slides to show him in the same spot, except the beer is in his
other hand and Eddie is on the other side of him. The scene shifts
twice more, with Eddie's position the only difference.
Legal Stuff
This episode capsule is copyright 2001 by David Langley. This episode
summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright of Paramount
Productions and NBC. Printed without permission.
