Dark Side Of The Moon Written by Lori Kirkland
Directed by David Lee
=====================================================================
Production Code: 7.22
Episode Number In Production Order: 166
Original Airdate on NBC: 11th May 2000
Episode filmed on: 14th March 2000
Transcript written on 28th June 2000
Transcript revised on 2nd June 2001
Donny Douglas Episodes
- [6.15] To Tell The Truth.
- [6.16] Decoys.
- [6.22] Visions Of Daphne.
- [6.23] Shut Out In Seattle [1].
- [6.24] Shut Out In Seattle [2].
- [7.02] Father Of The Bride.
- [7.11] The Fight Before Christmas [2].
- [7.18] Hot Pursuit.
- [7.20] To Thine Old Self Be True.
- [7.22] Dark Side Of The Moon.
Melinda Karnovsky Episodes
- [7.08] The Late Dr. Crane.
- [7.11] The Fight Before Christmas [2].
- [7.17] Whine Club.
- [7.20] To Thine Old Self Be True.
- [7.22] Dark Side Of The Moon.
Simon Moon Episodes
- [7.22] Dark Side Of The Moon.
Transcript {nicholas hartley}
[Act One]
[Scene One - Therapist's Room.
A female therapist, Dr. McCaskill, is holding up an ink-blot to Daphne]
McCaskill: What do you see here?
Daphne: It's two bunnies clawing each other to death over a lima
bean. [McCaskill writes in her pad] Forgive me, Dr.
McCaskill, but this game seems rather silly.
McCaskill: Well, I understand how you might feel that way but it's
helpful to me. Now, last one. [holds another ink-blot up]
Daphne: It's a woman.
McCaskill: [noting down] Okay, then.
Daphne: She's skinning a pigeon with a hatchet.
[McCaskill makes changes to her original note]
Daphne: Are we done now?
McCaskill: I think we still have some work to do.
Daphne: I just don't think there's any good reason for me to be
here.
McCaskill: The judge felt differently.
Daphne: Oh, what does he know? Saying I need anger management!
I'm not an angry person, I never have been.
McCaskill: Daphne, wasn't it anger that led you to cause that four-
car accident?
Daphne: Well, yes, but I was provoked into that. I'm not angry
anymore.
McCaskill: Well, there may be a level of emotion you're not entirely
in touch with. Let's talk about your life in general.
You said you had a fiancé?
Daphne: Yes, Donny. He's a wonderful, generous man...
[Scene Two - Niles' Apartment.
Daphne carries on talking to her therapist as she flashes back to
this scene: Daphne is sat on the fainting couch made up in a
beautiful dress. Her air is expectant.]
Daphne: [v.o:] ...in fact, he did the sweetest thing for me last week,
totally out of the blue.
[Everyone jumps out yelling "surprise!" and rushes to meet her. From
the way she gasps and bugs her eyes, we see her surprise is total.
She's shaking like a leaf as Donny holds her. Niles, Mel, Frasier,
Roz and Martin among others are there]
Donny: Welcome to your shower, honey. Oh my God, you're trembling.
Daphne: Yes, well, I'm absolutely blown away.
Niles: Oh, come on, Daphne, you were on to us.
Daphne: No, really, you had me completely fooled.
Donny: We may have an even bigger surprise for you later on, but
first things first: let's get you some champagne.
[Donny and Daphne kiss as Daphne speaks over the top]
Daphne: [v.o:] I'm not usually much for surprise parties, but I can
see how much trouble Donny went to. He invited all my
friends, made the food, he even planned some games.
[Scene Three - Therapist's Room.
Daphne carries on]
Daphne: We played this one game where everyone's in groups and
each group dresses one person in a bridal gown made out of
toilet paper. I can't remember what it's called...
McCaskill: [annoyed] "Toilet paper bridal gown"!
Daphne: Yes, that's it. Have you played?
McCaskill: I'm familiar with it.
[Scene Four - Niles' Apartment.
Daphne flashes back to later on that night. We see the three teams
frantically trying to finish their gowns as Daphne sits on the couch]
Daphne: [v.o:] Then you know, as the bride, I had to judge which
group made the best dress while another woman was in charge
of...
Mel: [blows whistle loudly] Time!!! Stop right now, or you'll be
disqualified. Team A! [N.B. One of the few instances in the
series of Jane Adams's remarkable lung power]
[Donny comes out wearing a mashed gown; he looks more like a mummy
than a bride]
Daphne: [laughs] Very nice, Donny.
Mel: Team B!
[Niles turns away from Martin, who simply has a few strips wrapped
crosswise over his plaid shirt, and a clump on top of his head. He
looks like a finished Christmas parcel]
Niles: We're not finished yet!
Martin: You shouldn't have spent so much time with the sketches!
Mel: Team C! Where's Team C? Team C, time!
[Frasier exits from the kitchen singing the wedding march. He is
followed by Roz in a most exquisite toilet paper gown - it looks
almost real. She is carrying a toilet paper bouquet and so are
her two toilet paper bridesmaids]
Frasier: You'll notice that I used the quilted variety for the bonnet
and the edging on the veil.
Daphne: Well, you all look fantastic but I think we have a winner...
Team C!
[Roz throws her bouquet up in excitement; meanwhile Holly chats with
Donny]
Holly: Donny, I'm sorry.
Donny: Oh, Holly, it's not your fault, I should have been more radiant.
[Frasier walks up to Daphne]
Frasier: Daphne, if there happens to be another game that we play, do
you think that you could arrange for me to be on the same
team as your friend Holly there?
Daphne: Oh, developed a little crush, have we?
Frasier: As a matter of fact, I have. It's just that I haven't had
much of a chance to get to speak with her at all.
Daphne: Well, I'll do what I can, but I'm not really in charge here-
[Mel blows her whistle showing who's the dominant one]
Mel: [shouts] All right, people, next game - bridal charades!
[The doorbell sounds, Donny takes Daphne to the door as Frasier chats
with Roz]
Frasier: Roz, you know, some day you're going to make a beautiful
bride. Of course, your dress won't be made out of toilet
paper. [Roz laughs]
Niles: Or be white.
[Roz playfully hits him with her bouquet as Donny makes an announcement]
Donny: Daphne, your big surprise has arrived. This is someone that
I know you are dying to see.
Daphne: Your parents?
Donny: No, not till next week.
Daphne: [worried] My mother?
Donny: No, someone good.
Daphne: [hopeful] My brother?
Donny: Your favourite brother!
Daphne: [jumps up and down] Yeah, Steven!
Donny: Ste... no.
Daphne: Billy?
Donny: Em...
Daphne: Michael?
Donny: Well...
Daphne: Nigel? David?
Simon: [o.s - he sounds drunk and rough] Hello, thirsty man waitin'
out here!
Daphne: [disgust] Simon!
[Donny opens the door to a brutish Brit who shoves his duffel bag in
his face]
Simon: Daphne! Come 'ere.
[He opens his arms for a hug and then twists her into a head-lock, mussing
up her hair with his fists]
Daphne: Everyone, this is my brother, Simon. [they all greet him]
Simon: Stilts, aren't you a sight!
Niles: "Stilts"?
Daphne: Growing up I was a bit tall for my age.
Simon: Giant, like she was on stilts.
Daphne: They follow you, Simon.
Simon: Yeah, right. Well, it's nice to meet you all. Especially
whichever one's the bartender.
Roz: [stands suggestively] Oh, that would be me!
Simon: Oh and a pretty little bartender you are.
Roz: Right this way.
Simon: After you. [follows her] I'd rather walk behind you anyway!
Roz: I just love your accent, it's so sophisticated!
MANCHESTER UNITED
[Scene Five - Niles' Apartment.
We pick up where we left off. Martin and Frasier are talking to
Donny by the door]
Donny: Oh boy, I really screwed up, didn't I?
Frasier: Now, isn't Steven the favourite brother?
Donny: Yes.
Martin: Even I knew that, I barely listen to her.
Donny: [to Daphne:] I know, I know, I know, I got the names mixed
up, but you have mentioned Simon too.
Daphne: Yes, as a free-loader who just sits around the house
drinking beer all day.
Martin: Well, that's a lot of people.
Daphne: [excusing him:] You're retired.
[Meanwhile, at the bar, Roz and Holly are all over Simon]
Holly: You have such a dirty mind.
Roz: And that would be a terrible thing to waste.
Daphne: [comes over] Simon!
[She drags him away]
Simon: Yeah, right.
Daphne: This is Dr. Frasier Crane and his father, Martin.
[They all greet each other]
Daphne: There are the people I work for. You've met my fiancée,
Donny.
Simon: Oh, thanks for flying me out, mate.
Daphne: About that, didn't it seem unusual to you when he called you
my favourite brother?
Simon: Now that you mention it, it did strike my ear as a bit odd,
you being so partial to Steven. [sits on couch, puts his
feet up on the seat and lights a cigarette, to Niles and Mel's
discomfort] But then I thought, women change their minds all
the time, brothers fall in and out of favour. Maybe it's my
turn. And, er, good thing too, as it was an especially good
time for me to get out of England.
Roz: God, he talks just like a prince!
Niles: So, Simon, where are you staying? [holds out ash tray]
Simon: Thanks, mate. [flicks ash into tray but doesn't take it]
Em, Donny here says that Frasier's offered to put me up.
Frasier: Yes, well, when he told me he was inviting Daphne's
favourite brother, I didn't hesitate. Of course, well, the
sad truth is, we really don't have a bed for you.
Simon: Oh, a couch'll suit me just fine.
Frasier: Well, you wouldn't really be comfortable there for more than
a day or two.
Simon: Oh, don't worry about that. I once slept on a couch for
three months before I even realised it pulled out.
Frasier: Ah!
Simon: The main thing is that I spend as much time as possible with
my baby sister!
[Simon playfully knocks Daphne, who spills her glass of red wine over
her dress]
Daphne: Simon, look what you did!
[Daphne carries on with her story]
Daphne: [v.o:] It was my absolute favourite dress, one I saved for
special occasions; he wasn't in the door five minutes before
he ruined it.
[Scene Six - Therapist's Room.
Daphne carries on with the doctor]
McCaskill: And yet you still felt responsible for putting him up.
Daphne: I didn't have much choice. If I turned him out, I'd never
hear the end of it from mum.
McCaskill: I'm hearing that your relatives are a source of anger for
you.
Daphne: So? Aren't yours?
McCaskill: Well, they might be if I still talked to any of them!
[The doctor laughs but stops when she realises Daphne didn't join in]
McCaskill: Anyway, I can see how your brother's presence was adding
stress, but what I'm not sure of is how you got from there
to causing a four car pile-up.
[Scene Seven - Frasier's Apartment.
We see Daphne cleaning up Simon's mess on the coffee table. Daphne
once again narrates the scene at first]
Daphne: [v.o:] Well, things got much more difficult once Simon
settled into the house.
[Frasier enters the apartment as Daphne quickly takes Simon's plates
from view]
Daphne: [putting on a brave face] Good evening, Dr. Crane! I hope
you had a pleasant day.
Frasier: [seeing straight through her] Where's Simon?
Daphne: I think he's out with Mr. Crane again. They seem to have
taken quite a shine to each other. Simon's introduced him to
rugby.
Frasier: Yes, I really must thank him for that! After all, poor dad,
before he came, had no sport to watch between the hours of
two and six a.m! Did you happen to see the kitchen this
morning?
Daphne: Yes, I guess they got some take-out.
Frasier: It looked like a Kung Pao bomb went off! I still have moo
shoo stuck in the tread of my driving Moccasins!
Daphne: I'm sorry Simon's been such an imposition. But he's leaving
soon, he's decided to tour the West Coast until the wedding.
Frasier: Oh Lord, that's a relief.
Daphne: Yes. [faking a surprised thought] Oh, by the by, I invited
my friend, Holly, over for drinks tonight. Maybe you could
join us, might give you two an opportunity to get better
acquainted.
Frasier: Daphne, if you're offering up your attractive friend as some
sort of a peace offering - well then, I accept. I better go
and make myself look irresistible.
Daphne: Well, you won't have time for much, she's on her way now.
Frasier: Oh, it's probably better that way - you know, give her a fighting
chance.
[Frasier exits to his room as Martin enters through the front door
with Eddie]
Daphne: Mr. Crane, I thought you were out with Simon.
Martin: Nope, just Eddie.
Daphne: Then where's Simon?
Frasier: [o.s] Daphne!!
[Frasier runs on in a mad rush]
Frasier: Your brother's in my bed... nude!!
Daphne: [shouts down hallway] Simon Moon, get out of Dr. Crane's
room!
Martin: Oh, that poor guy probably just needed a nap, it's the jet-
lag. Couple of days and he'll be on our time.
Frasier: A couple more days, he'll be on our sidewalk!
[Simon enters in a robe and smoking a cigarette]
Simon: Sorry about that, I'm a bit sleepy today. I think I'm coming
down with a cold.
[Simon gives a smoker's cough]
Frasier: Nothing another night of drinking won't cure, I'm sure.
Simon: Well, let's hope.
Frasier: Is that my robe you're wearing?
Simon: Yeah, yeah, you want it back? [begins to untie it]
Frasier: [in horror] No, no.
Simon: No, it's all right, I've got shorts on. [shows him]
Frasier: Are those my shorts?
Simon: Well, I didn't think you'd mind, I found them on the
bathroom floor.
[Frasier holds himself in disgust]
Daphne: If you need to lie down you can use my room. [gives him
duffel bag]
Simon: All right, don't forget to wake me for dinner, will ya'?
Daphne: I woke you for lunch, didn't I?
Simon: Yeah, right.
[Simon exits to Daphne's room as the doorbell sounds]
Frasier: Oh dear God, that'll be Holly. Dad, make yourself scarce.
[Martin exits as Frasier opens the door] Ah, Holly, hello
again.
Holly: Hello, Dr. Crane, nice to see you again.
Frasier: Yes, yes, please, call me Frasier, come in.
Daphne: Hi, Holly, I'm glad you could make it.
Holly: Me too. My boss can be such a pain.
Daphne: Too bad, this one here keeps me in stitches all day long.
Frasier: [looks at Holly] Wokka, Wokka! [he sighs] Let me bring you
girls some drinks.
Daphne: Oh, no, no, no, let me get them. Could you keep Holly
company?
Frasier: All right, well, Holly, please have a seat. [they sit] Er,
gosh, em, you know, we really didn't get much of a chance to
talk at the shower. But, er, let me see, you're in the music
business aren't you?
Holly: Yes, right now I'm planning a Reggae festival on Mercer
Island.
Frasier: Oh, well, I'll have to remind myself to take the Rasta-ferry
over and catch it. [laughs with Holly]
[Daphne enters with the drinks]
Holly: Frasier just told the cutest little joke.
Daphne: Oh, I'm sorry, I came back as quickly as possible. [off
Frasier's glance] Oh, I just remembered I left a tray of hors
d'oeuvres on the kitchen counter.
Holly: No, let me Daphne, I'm not going to let you wait on me all
night.
Daphne: Oh, thank you.
[Holly leaves to the kitchen who is shortly followed by Simon]
Frasier: Allow me. [pours drinks]
Daphne: Well?
Frasier: Well, I like her, actually. You know, I thinks she likes me
too.
Daphne: So, are you going to ask her out?
Frasier: Oh, now, now, now, Daphne. You can't rush things with a girl
like Holly. After all, she's the kind of girl you just don't
do that to. Yes, she has to be wooed.
[Meanwhile it seems that Simon isn't taking very long to woo Holly as
he already has his tongue down her throat in the entrance to the
kitchen]
Frasier: And to be honest, this is the part of the dance that excites
me the most: the coy verbal exchange, the subtle body
language, the probing glances as we explore a mutual
passion.
Daphne: [noticing her brother] That jacket you're wearing might be a
bit too conservative, why don't you go and change?
Frasier: [stands] All right, all right, what do you think? Maybe a
sweater? Do you think I'd look more free-wheeling in my blue
and my...
[Frasier notices the happy couple]
Frasier: Good God. [shouts over] He has a cold, you know!
[Frasier exits as Holly and Simon turn to look at him]
[End of Act One]
[Act Two]
[Scene One - Therapist's Room.
Daphne is conveying the rest of her story]
Daphne: I had no idea that Simon and Holly had gotten so close at
my wedding shower. Of course, try telling that to Dr.
Crane.
McCaskill: He blames you for what happened?
Daphne: Of course he did. The tension in the house was just
getting worse. Then two nights later, I thought I was
getting a break from it all. I had the house all to myself
for a change...
[Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment.
Daphne narrates over the scene. Daphne is sat in Martin's chair with
her hair tied above her head, her dressing gown on, spot cream dotted
on her face and lip wax making her look like a "Got Milk?" advert]
Daphne: [v.o] ...Which was a good thing because I was meeting Donny's
parents the next day. I decided I'd use the evening to take a
nice hot bath, give meself a manicure - you know, how you do.
[Then Frasier enters the apartment]
Daphne: Dr. Crane, what happened to your concert?
Frasier: Simon happened. I've caught his wretched cold. I think I'm
just going to go curl up in bed. After all, if I don't take
care of myself, who will? Make me some tea and honey, won't
you?
[Frasier exits to his room as Martin enters]
Martin: Hey, Daph'.
Daphne: I thought you and Simon were watching the game down at
McGinty's.
Martin: Oh, the cable went out, I'll just watch it here.
Daphne: Then where's Simon?
Martin: He's at the bar, he met some people. [she heads to the
kitchen] Oh, listen, if you're going in the kitchen, would
you get me a beer? [she does] He's a real knack for meeting
friends, and a great storyteller! Is it true you wet your
pants the first time you saw a Chinese person?
[Daphne enters with his beer]
Daphne: He told you that?!
Martin: Oh, he's gonna kill me, he was going to try to work it into
his wedding toast!
[Simon and company enter through the door with a raucous roar. He is
with two beer-bellied men, and he's also giving a young blond woman a
piggy-back ride. They land on the couch]
Simon: Come in and make ya'selves comfortable. Hey, Stilts, I
didn't know you'd be home! God, what a sight! If you took
your teeth out and put them in your pocket you'd look like
mum.
Daphne: Oh, sod off, Simon. Who are these people?
Simon: Oh, these are some new friends of mine, they've come down to
watch the game. This is Stan. [Stan nods] This is...
Judd: [helping him] ...Judd.
Simon: Judd, yeah. [pointing to his new date] And this here is
Paris.
Martin: Paris? Does that make you French?
Paris: No, but a couple of beers might.
[They all laugh, excluding an agitated Daphne as Frasier enters]
Frasier: What on earth is going on out here?
Martin: Oh, it's no big deal, a few people just came over to watch
the game.
Frasier: Well, you might have consulted with me first!
Daphne: Let's get you back to bed, Dr. Crane, I'll bring you your
tea in a minute.
Fraiser: Very well, Daphne. [directed at Simon] It seems I've caught
a cold from someone!
Simon: Oh, you might have mentioned that before I took a nap in
your bed.
[Frasier grimaces and exits as Daphne leaves to the kitchen]
Simon: If you don't mind me saying, Marty, you're a saint for
putting up with that man. Your life must be very trying, very
trying indeed.
Martin: Oh, do not get me started!
[The doorbell sounds]
Daphne: Could someone get that? I have a tray to make for Dr. Crane.
Simon: Bring out some beers, would ya'! [answers door to Roz]
Roz: [provocative] Hi, Simon.
Simon: [confused] Hello.
Roz: Are you ready... to go... dinner... you made a date.
Simon: [half-hearted] Of course, a date! Er, just hang on there a
minute, er... [tries to guess the name]
Daphne: [enters with Frasier's tray] Hello, Roz.
Simon: Roz, yeah, I forgot where I put my jacket.
[Paris hands it over]
Paris: Right here.
Simon: Right, well, I'm just going out for a bit, love, make yourself
comfortable, I won't be late.
[Simon kisses Paris and wonders over to a peeved Roz]
Roz: I don't believe this. I got dressed up, I got a sitter and
you don't even remember we made a date! Some classy brother,
Daphne!
Simon: Now you're making me feel bad. I tell you what: dinner's on
me tonight. Daph', can I talk to you for a minute?
Roz: Don't bother, Simon. [slams door in his face]
Martin: Hey, can you keep it down, the game's on. Daph', how about
some snacks?
Judd: Well, maybe a couple of sandwiches.
Daphne: [puts down tray] Oh, get it yourself! I have laundry to check
on!
Simon: Did you do my delicates?
Daphne: Oh!
[Daphne runs out the front door]
[Scene Three - Therapist's Room.
Daphne is pacing the floor]
Daphne: I thought I'd cool off while I was in the laundry room, but
no such luck!
[Scene Four - Frasier's Apartment.
Simon, Paris, Judd, Stan and Martin are watching the game as Daphne
enters, still with all her cosmetics on, holding up the dress she wore
to her bridal shower. It is stained throughout by bleach]
Daphne: [nearly crying] Look at this! My favourite dress ruined!
[The rest cheer at the television, not listening to Daphne]
Daphne: When I got that wine stain out, someone pulled it out of the
machine and tossed it into a puddle of bleach!
[The rest of them cheer again]
Daphne: I got them back though. I pulled all their clothes out of
the drier and threw them onto the dirty wet floor. Oh, what
do you care?! I need a drink! A big one! [exits to kitchen]
[The doorbell sounds]
Simon: Oh, that'll be my date again. I knew she couldn't stay mad
long. [calls] Coming, Rose!
[Simon opens the door to Donny and his parents]
Donny: Hi.
Simon: Hello, Donny. Who's this, then?
Donny: My mom and dad. I was picking them up at the airport, they
couldn't wait to meet Daphne. This is Simon, Daphne's
brother.
Simon: [shaking hands] Oh, nice to meet you, yeah, how are you?
Eh, word to the wise, Daphne's in a bit of a mood tonight.
Martin: [stands] Why don't I just let her know that you're here?
[Martin however is too late as Daphne enters pouring a full glass of
whisky]
Daphne: There, that's the last of that bottle!
Martin: [helping her] Daphne, thanks for bringing in my whisky!
Daphne: [not realising] It's mine! If you want it, you'll have to
fight me for it, old man!
Donny: [runs over] Honey, honey! [she notices them]
Mom, dad, er, this is my fiancée, Daphne.
Daphne: Hello. [puts bottles down] Donny, I thought we were doing
this tomorrow.
Donny: We wanted to surprise you.
Daphne: Why? Because your last surprise worked out so well?!
Mom: We should have called first.
Daphne: No, I'm so embarrassed, I'm such a mess.
Donny: Come on, honey, you've looked worse.
Daphne: Donny!
Dad: I think we'd better go home.
Daphne: Oh, no, no. Please, come in, the more the merrier.
[The doorbell sounds]
Daphne: Oh, for God's sake, who the hell is that now?!
[Donny's mom pats her son's hand]
Mom: She's very lovely.
[Daphne opens the door to a woman with a laundry basket]
Woman: I know what you did. Someone saw you leave the laundry room.
You threw all my wet clothes all over the floor!
[And that's the straw that breaks the camel's back]
Daphne: Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise they were still wet. [takes
basket] Here, let me help.
Woman: What're you doing?
Daphne: [throws some socks into the fireplace] Oooh, that's nice and
hot...
Woman: Stop it!
Daphne: What? Not fast enough for you!
Woman: Stop it!
[Daphne opens the door to the balcony]
Daphne: Maybe if we air-dried them!
[Daphne, in a sudden mad turn, throws all the laundry off the
balcony]
Daphne: There! That should do it. Ya' happy now?!!!
[Then we hear cars beeping in the streets below. We hear four
seperate crashes and on each one Daphne looks worse and worse.
Amidst all the disaster, Frasier enters from his room]
Frasier: Fine! I guess I'll just have to make my own tea!!
[Scene Five - Therapist's Room.
Daphne is finishing his story]
Daphne: It never occurred to me that stuff would fall on people's
windshields.
McCaskill: Well, I can certainly see why you felt provoked.
Daphne: Thank you. Now, if the judge'd seen it your way, we could
have all saved ourselves a lot of time.
McCaskill: There's something that confuses me just a little.
Daphne: Yes?
McCaskill: This dress that was ruined, you keep saying it was your
favourite.
Daphne: That's right.
McCaskill: So, why were you wearing it at your bridal shower?
Daphne: Well, it's a momentous event, don't you think?
McCaskill: But you said it was a surprise.
Daphne: Well, yes... [realises] It was.
McCaskill: So, just what were you expecting when you went over there?
[Scene Six - Niles' Apartment.
She flashes back to before the bridal shower. Niles answers the door
to Daphne]
Niles: Daphne, right on time. I'm glad you're here, come in.
Let me take your coat. [he does so]
Daphne: I brought the recipe.
Niles: Hmm? Oh, for sticky toffee pudding... mmmm...
Daphne: [suggestively] Well, that's why I'm here, isn't it? To teach
you to make it.
Niles: Yes.
[Daphne gives a provocative knowing wink]
Niles: You're not buying it, are you?
Daphne: No, not really.
Niles: So, do you know why I asked you here tonight? [they sit]
Daphne: [flirting] I think I do. I mean, when a man asks you to his
house to make pudding on a Saturday night...
Niles: A pretty flimsy excuse, wasn't it?
Daphne: Well, it got me here.
Niles: I'm glad.
[Niles touches his arm to which Daphne reacts with comfort]
Niles: Make yourself comfortable.
Daphne: All right.
[Niles exits leaving a very nervous Daphne sat on the fainting couch
and as before:]
[Everyone jumps out yelling "surprise!" and rushes to meet her. From
the way she gasps and bugs her eyes, we see her surprise is total.
She's shaking like a leaf as Donny holds her. Niles, Mel, Frasier,
Roz and Martin among others are there]
Donny: Welcome to your shower, honey. Oh my God, you're trembling.
Daphne: Yes, well, I'm absolutely blown away.
Niles: Oh, come on, Daphne, you were on to us.
Daphne: No, really, you had me completely fooled.
[As everyone crowds around Daphne, her attention is focused on
Niles, who sneaks Mel a kiss.]
[Scene Seven - Therapist's Room.
Daphne is sat in revelation of her love]
Daphne: My God! Dr. Crane...
McCaskill: You know, it might be time to start calling him Niles.
Daphne: This is confusing. I mean what about Donny? He's the man
I love.
McCaskill: Are you sure about that?
Daphne: [crying] ...No. Oh, so many questions. What does this
mean? What do I do?
McCaskill: I'm sorry, but... our time is up!
[Daphne takes a tissue and dries her eyes]
[End of Act Two]
Credits:
[Simon and company have collapsed all around Frasier's apartment.
The place is an utter mess. Frasier enters, shocked by the events.
He tries to wake them up by clapping his hands, shaking their chairs
and even coughing in Simon's direction. Finally, he relents, takes a
beer from amid the clutter and exits to his room. Then, seeing he
has gone, the rest awake and carry on with their party]
Guest Appearances
Special Guest Stars
JANE ADAMS as Mel
ANTHONY LaPAGLIA as Simon Moon
S. EPATHA MERKERSON as Dr. McCaskill
SAUL RUBINEK as Donny
Guest Starring
JONATHAN BRUCE as Judd
JOHN DAVID CONTI as Donny's dad
JANICE KENT as Neighbor Woman
KELLY MILLER as Holly
BARBARA SHARMA as Donny's mom
DENDRIE TAYLOR as Paris
Legal Stuff
This episode capsule is copyright 2000 by Nick Hartley.
This episode summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright
of Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed without permission.
