Frasier Crane's Day Off Written by Chuck Ranberg
& Anne Flett-Giordano
Directed by James Burrows
=====================================================================
Production Code: 1.23.
Original Airdate on NBC: 12th May 1994.
Transcript written on 21st February 1999.
Frasier Theme
The Seattle sky line is drawn with no extras.
Quotes and Scene Summary {shawne wang}
Act One. In KACL: Frasier and Roz in their respective booths, the
show is going on.
Frasier: Gee, I'm sorry, Blake. When I told you to close your eyes
and visualise that you were on a tropical island, I didn't
realise you were calling from your car phone. [camera pans
to Roz, who looks mildly horrified]
Blake: [voice-over] That's OK, Doc. At least I know my air bags
work.
Frasier: [laughs uncomfortably] Well, I'm glad you're alright. And
thank you for your call.
Gil Chesterton edges open the door and slides into the booth. He
waves and mouths "Hi".
Frasier: Well, look who's popped into the booth! It's Gil Chesterton,
KACL's own food critic... which means, it's my cue to hit
the road. So, till tomorrow, this is Dr. Frasier Crane,
wishing you a good day [sneezes] and... and good health.
[off air]
Gil: [mock concern] Hey, Frasier!
Frasier: Hello, Gil.
Gil: I heard you coughing on the air earlier today. Sounds like
you might be coming down with something. So I had this sent
over from Rosenfore's Deli. [as he says this, handing
Frasier a white paper bag, Roz enters the booth] Chicken
soup so lovingly prepared even the chicken gets well.
Frasier: Thank you. It's very kind.
Gil: And of course, I'd never forget you, Roz. Some ladies'
fingers that have been soaked in rum.
Roz: [appreciatively] Mmm!
Frasier: Much like her own! [he coughs repeatedly and loudly,
ignoring Roz's offended look]
Gil: I say, I hope this isn't the start of that nasty flu that's
going around. You want to take a couple of days off, nip it
in the bud, I'd be happy to cover your timeslot for...
Frasier: No, no, thank you. I'll be fine tomorrow.
Gil: Okie dokie... but uh... feel free to call me if you change
your mind.[leaves]
Roz: Mmm!! Plump, gooey, and guaranteed to rot your teeth.
Frasier: Yes. I don't like his phony British accent much either.
Roz: You sure got a bug up your mind about Gil. What's your
problem?
Frasier: I just don't trust him. Nobody's that nice unless they want
something from you.
Roz: He's just a generous person. [she picks up something from
the table and heads back to her booth]
Frasier: [getting up and following her] Oh yes, he was very generous
to Bonnie Weems! Bought her a case of wine, asked her to let
him have her timeslot when she was on vacation. When she got
back, she had been banished to the midnight to four a.m.
slot!
Roz: What are you saying? He's trying to take our timeslot?
Frasier: I'm just saying we should watch our backs. How would you
like to work from midnight to four a.m.? What would happen
to your social life? Those are your peak hours! [smirks]
Roz: You're just being paranoid.
Frasier: No I'm not. [returns to his booth]
Roz: [following her] Yes you are! The man brought you some
chicken soup. It does not mean he wants your timeslot.
Besides, why would he be bribing us? He'd be bribing the
higher-ups... They're the ones who make the decisions!
At that moment, Gil enters with another paper bag.
Gil: Oh Frasier! Oh good, it's still here. This is your soup.
[hands him a bag and takes the one off the counter] This is
the Lobster Newburg I bought for the station manager's cats.
Frasier: [vindicated] I'll see you tomorrow, Roz.
He grabs his briefcase off the counter and leaves.
SPRING IS IN THE AIR
Frasier's apartment : Martin and Daphne are seated at the table,
both reading from newspapers.
Daphne: Oh here's a gruesome bit. A partly decomposed body just
washed up in Puget Sound!
Martin: Hey, that's good news!
Daphne: [shocked] Pardon?
Martin: Bodies don't rise till the weather gets warmer. You get your
first floater, and spring's just around the corner! [Daphne
looks suitably disgusted]
Frasier enters the room from the direction of his bedroom, clumsily
dressed and looking extremely tired.
Frasier: [listlessly] Morning, Dad. Daphne.
Martin: Frasier, you sound awful!
Frasier: [unconvincingly] It's just a little bug.
Daphne: But you can't be thinking of going to work! You're all pasty
and clammy and pale!
Martin: Hey, coming from an English person, that's bad!
Daphne, offended, picks up the breakfast dishes and marches into the
kitchen.
Frasier: Dad, as you've often said, "You can walk, you can work."
Took an ironic twist the day you got shot in the hip!
Martin: Well, at least I had a real job. Half your listening
audience hears voices already, and the other half talks to
themselves! If you don't show up, who's going to notice?
Frasier: Well, I'm out of here. [puts down his mug and walks over to
the coat rack to get his coat]
Daphne: [exiting from the kitchen] But you're burning up! You really
should stay home and let me tend to you. I'm a very good
nurse. I mended all me brothers' soccer injuries.
Frasier: [shrugging into his coat] Well, I didn't get injured playing
soccer.
Daphne: Neither did me hooligan brothers. Mostly they got hurt
beating up drunken Dutchmen in the stands. [Frasier
sneezes.]
Martin: [folding his arms] Well, that's going to look pretty against
the glass in your booth! Why don't you just stay home?
Frasier: Dad, Daphne, thank you thank you. But I'm a physician. I
believe that I am the best monitor of my own condition. I'm
fine! Fit as a fiddle!
Pulls open the door and exits. Beat. The doorbell sounds, languidly
and tiredly. Daphne, who has turned away, returns expectantly to the
door and opens it to reveal a very sick Frasier.
Frasier: [whining] I'm sick...!!
Daphne supports Frasier as he trudges back into the living room.
Screen fades to black. KACL : Gil is on the air.
Gil: This is Gil Chesterton and I'm filling in for Dr. Frasier
Crane. We're here talking to Louis, who has forgotten that
tonight is his tenth anniversary. Well, Louis, I believe I've
saved your proverbial derriere! During the commercial, I
managed to secure you a private booth at Maximillian's. Just
promise me for dessert you'll have their
Schwartzwellkerschtuten.
Louis: The.. the what?
Gil: The Schwartzwellkersch... [condescendingly] well, maybe you'd
better stick with the rainbow sherbets.
Louis: I don't know how to thank you. You saved my marriage!
Gil: No don't thank me! I'm only here tonight because our dear Dr.
Crane is home with the flu. If you're listening, Doc, all of
us here at KACL want you to get better soon.
The scene changes: we see a radio from which Gil's voice is
presumably coming. The camera widens to show Frasier lying in his
bed, a thermometer in his mouth. Martin is sitting next to his bed
with the paper.
Frasier: [mumbling around the thermometer] I just bet you do.
Daphne: [coming over to him from the direction of the bathroom] Time
to check if the turkey's done. [she takes out the
thermometer]
Frasier: Dad, you know, you don't have to sit in here with me all
day.
Martin: Oh no... no problem. You need company when you're sick. You
never know when you're going to croak.
Daphne: Oh boy. Your temperature is up there. One hundred and one!
You are a sick boy.
Frasier: Thank you for reminding me, Daphne.
Martin: Naw, I remember the sickest I ever was. They'd shipped us
back from Korea. I got this Oriental parasite. It was
building its own little pagoda right in my colon...
Frasier: [cutting him off] Thank you, Dad.
Daphne: You know, you might try some of my homeopathic tea. It'll
flush out your system... it'll also make your hair more
shiny and manageable. [fluffs her own hair]
Frasier: No... no. Thank you.
Martin: No! That wasn't the sickest I was. It was that time your
mother and I took that trip down to Mexico. I was real
careful about the water, and then I ate this piece of
lettuce. Next thing you know, I'm spewing both for accuracy
and distance. I spent the night curled up on the stone
floor, screaming "I wanna die, I wanna die!".
Frasier: Won't that have been a tragedy? You won't be here with me
now!
Martin: OK, I get the point. I'll give you a little peace and quiet
here. [gets up and starts to leave] Oh no! What was I
thinking of? What about the time your mother left the potato
salad in the trunk of the car? I'm still sick from that one!
Daphne: [pleasantly] Is there anything else you need?
Frasier: A little more ginger ale, please?
Daphne: Very well then. [she turns to leave but is called back by
him]
Frasier: Oh Daphne, this time, make it shaved ice... not cubes. And I
don't like those straws. Can I have the bendy kind? And the
saltines... they're too salty. I need the low-sodium.
Daphne: Your wish is my command.
She turns to leave again, carrying a tray. This time, she is stopped
by Niles, who is just entering the room.
Niles: Hello Daphne, is he in pain?
Daphne: Not enough. [finally exits]
Niles: [covering his mouth with his handkerchief] Frasier, I
brought you something.
Frasier: Niles! Put the hanky down, for God's sake! It's not the
plague!
Niles: Well, look. This is from Marta, our maid. [he carefully
folds the handkerchief and places it on Frasier's bed before
sitting down. He removes a slime-green pouch from a plastic
bag he's been carrying] It's a poultice you wear around your
neck. The recipe comes from her remote mountain village in
Guatemala.
Frasier: [wrinkling his nose in distaste] I can see why her village
is remote!
Niles: Yes, it is pungent. But, by inhaling these herbs, many of
the villagers lived to be well over a hundred. Marta herself
is seventy-eight, and you should see her scramble up the
stairs when Maris rings her little bell.[The phone rings.]
Frasier: Oh, Niles, would you mind?
Obligingly, Niles gets off the bed and walks behind the bed. Eddie
scampers into the room and bounces up onto Frasier's bed next to
him.
Frasier: Oh hello Eddie! For once I'm actually glad to see you! [he
drapes the poultice around the dog's neck] Here. [Horrified,
Eddie runs out of the room. Frasier laughs to himself.]
Niles: [returning to the bed, phone in hand] Uh... it's for you.
It's... [pauses, as if puzzled by the identity of the person
calling] ... Roz?
Frasier: [taking the phone and speaking weakly] Hello.
Roz: So how are you feeling?
Frasier: Awful, thank you.
THE SCENE CHANGES : we see Roz standing at the payphone outside the
studio, as Gil still goes on with his show.
Roz: Well, I'm sorry to hear that. Because I really think you
should get your butt back down here. You were right about
Gil, Frasier. He's lobbying for our slot. I was talking to
Millie in Traffic and she overheard Gil talking to the
station manager. It was all about how our time slot is
perfect for his show because it's mid-afternoon and everyone
is making [faking a sultry accent] dinner plans!
Frasier: I knew it, I knew it! [the camera shows an irate
Frasier] Geez! OK, Roz, you can count on me. I'll be there
tomorrow.
Roz: You'd better be! I don't trust that greedy, finger-licking
runt as far as I can throw him.
Gil: [sticking his head out of the booth] I say, Roz... How am I
doing so far?
Roz: [fakely] Fabulous!
The scene changes back.
Frasier: OK, I'll be in tomorrow.
Niles: Frasier! You can't be serious about going in tomorrow. Your
pupils are dilated. [he touches his brother's forehead] You
have a fever. You go in in that condition, you won't even
make it to the... [He picks up a bottle of disinfectant and
starts meticulously cleaning his hands.]
Frasier: Oh, I just don't trust Gil Chesterton. I think he's after my
timeslot. [exasperated] Oh Niles, will you stop it with the
alcohol?
Niles reluctantly places the cotton wool into the plastic bag that
once held the poultice.
Frasier: I just can't let that smarmy little chowhound do my show for
another day! Oh God, anybody would be better! [inspiration
striking] Niles, Niles, would you do my show for me?
Niles: Frasier, I think that fever of yours is making you
delusional.
Frasier: Oh no! I filled in for you when you were too sick to meet
with your "Fear of Intimacy" group!
Niles: [heading into the bathroom] I wasn't sick. They were just
getting too close.
Frasier: Oh I guess you're right. It's probably a bad idea. Doing my
show requires a set of abilities that you just don't
possess. You have to be able to size up your patients very
quickly and then dispense your advice in an entertaining and
insightful manner.
Niles: [re-entering the room] Frasier, this pathetic attempt at
reverse psychology is beneath you.
Frasier: Then you're not going to do my show?
Niles: [defiantly] No, I AM going to do your show. And I'm going to
do it better than you ever dreamed of doing it!
Niles storms out and Eddie scampers in.
End Of Act One (Time: 10:05)
Act Two. He drops the poultice back onto Frasier's chest then
scampers out again. Frasier stares after him venomously. KACL : Roz
and Niles are in Frasier's booth. She is showing him around the
control panel.
Roz: [pointing] And here's the cough button in case you need to
cough or clear your throat. [hands him a blue tape] And most
important, here's an extra-long commercial to use if you need
a bathroom break.
Niles: Thank you, but those won't be necessary. I have no cough
reflex, and excellent bladder control.
Roz: [sarcastically deadpan] It's true. All the good ones ARE
married. [leaving for her booth] You're on in ten seconds and
your first caller is Marsha.
Niles: Marsha. [he puts the headphones on around his neck and sits
down, covering the mike with his hand. Clearing his throat, he
tries out catchphrases.] "Hello, Marsha, I'm listening." That
is so trite. "Hello, Marsha, tell me where it hurts." No no...
"Hello, Marsha, I hear you." No...
He keeps muttering to himself, even when Roz starts signalling that
he is on.
Roz: [speaking into her mike] Good afternoon, Seattle.
Niles: Oh yes! Hello, this is Dr. Niles Crane filling in for my
ailing brother, Dr. Frasier Crane. Although I feel perfectly
qualified to fill Frasier's radio shoes, I should warn you
that while Frasier is a Freudian, I am a Jungian. So there'll
be no blaming Mother today. [proud of himself, he doesn't
notice as Roz sighs, sinking back into her chair] Ooh-kay,
Roz, who's my first caller?
Roz: We have Marsha on line three. She's in love with her husband's
brother.
Niles: This day promises not to disappoint. [jabs a button
professionally] Hello, Marsha, let's get better!
Pleased with himself, he looks to Roz for confirmation. Halfway
between amusement and shock, she gives him the thumb-up and another
signal. THE SCENE CHANGES : Frasier's bedroom. He is listening to
the radio in company of Daphne.
Niles: But before we get into the specifics of your problem, why
don't I give you a little historical background? The
psychiatrist Sigmar Bromnoh... that's B-R-O-M-N-O-H... in
the late 1950s, wrote extensively on the problem you are
facing. Which is all the more amazing when you realise that
Bromnoh was a prominent Rickian... although.. [trails off]
Frasier: [gleefully] Listen to him! He's terrible! [shuts off the
radio]
Daphne: And I'm afraid, so are you. Your temperature's up to one
hundred and three.
Frasier: Oh it could go up to a hundred and five, I couldn't be
better! My timeslot is safe... Niles is as dry as this toast
you brought me. With the crusts still on. I'm sure when I
really go back, they'll send the limo!
Daphne: Well, I'll just go get you another drink. [sarcastically]
Was that last straw bendy enough??
Frasier: Perfect, thank you. Oh Daphne, Daphne, look. [he calls her
back as she is about to leave, pointing at a tissue box on
the bed next to him] Here... take these tissues away. I...
they hurt my nose. I want that kind with the little
moisturiser droplet between the sheets. And the rose petals
in the humidifier - I think they're starting to wilt.
Daphne: Oh of course. Anything you like. Fresh rose petals...
crustless toast... soft tissues... [turning to leave,
muttering bitterly] ... acupuncture needles where you least
expect them...
KACL : Niles is standing up, holding the mike, speaking animatedly.
Niles: I'm just going to cut to the quick. If one of you doesn't say
"I love you" right now - right now - frankly, I don't see how
you could have any kind of future together. So. Which of you
has the courage to say "I love you"?
Lois: Howard, I love you!
Niles: [thrilled] Yes! Yes! Howard, she loves you! What about you?
Howard: I... uh...
Niles: Howard? You're going to just pack up your emotional tent and
walk away? Howard? Howard, it's up to you! Can you say it??
Can you???
Roz: [caught up in the excitement] Come on, Howard! Come on,
Howard!
Howard: I... I love you too, Lois!
Roz: Yes!!!!
THE SCENE CHANGES : back in Frasier's bedroom, the three members in
the Crane household are obviously listening to Niles' triumphant
broadcast.
Daphne: [happily bouncing on Frasier] He said it, he said it!
Martin: Hey, Niles is pretty good!
Frasier: Good? The little rat is scintillating! Why couldn't he just
do what's expected of him for once and stink? He's even
better than Gil Chesterton! Oh God! They're trying to make
me look bad!
Martin: Aw, geez. This high temperature of yours is making you
zooey.
Frasier: No! No! It's made me clear-headed. Gotta get down there, go
to that station, reclaim what's rightfully mine! There'll be
no more filling in by anybody! [muttering] No way, no how.
No way. No....
Martin: Frasier, you're not going anywhere.
Frasier: [scrambling to his feet and facing off with his dad] Who's
going to stop me?
Martin: I am.
Frasier: Oh? How are you, a man with a limp and a cane, going to stop
a man in the prime of his life?
Martin pokes Frasier in the chest, and the latter falls pathetically
back onto the bed, groaning loudly.
Martin: [over Frasier's whining] I wasn't even leaning on my cane.
Come on, Daphne. [He beckons to Daphne, and they both start
walking out of the room.]
Daphne: Boy, he really is sick!
Martin: Huh! You want to talk sick? 1962, World's Fair. The Toasted
Rolls were right next to the Little Taste Of India....
I GO TO PIECES
KACL : Frasier is back doing his show, with Roz in her booth. Oddly
enough, Niles and Gil are both standing ominously at a half-screened
window behind Frasier.
Frasier: As you know, I was out sick most of the week, and I'd like
to take this opportunity to express my sincere gratitude to
Gil Chesterton and to my brother Niles for doing such a
great job of filling in for me. I really appreciate it,
guys!
Turning to the window, he waves cheerily. Both Niles and Gil lift
their hands to return the wave at exactly the same time, looking
decidely sinister.
Frasier: Well Roz, now that I'm back to normal and filling great...
Who's our first caller?
Roz: We have Sonia from Olburn on line three.
Frasier: Well, let's just hear what Sonia has to say. [jabs a button
on the console]
Suddenly, Frasier's chair explodes into the ceiling, and Roz is seen
looking upwards, bewildered. THE SCENE CHANGES : Frasier is sprawled
across his bed. Suddenly, he jerks forward, and starts yelling,
half-crying, panicked.
Frasier: [frantically] Daphne! Daphne!
Daphne: [bursting into the room, snapping hostilely] What is it this
time?
Frasier: I had a dream! I had a dream! They're all plotting against
me!
Daphne: Oh now now, Dr. Crane. I thought we went over this already!
It's just your fever talking.
Frasier: [suspiciously] That's just what you want me to think! You're
probably in league with Niles! I know about the two of you!
Oh you pretend not to know, but you know! Gotta get back
down there and take my show back!
Daphne: But you can barely function!
Frasier: That might well be, but these prescriptions will take care
of that and more. [ripping a sheet off the pad he's
scribbling on and passing it to her] Now here, run down to
the drugstore. Post-haste!
Daphne: Cydakane?? This'll have you high as a kank.
Frasier: That's only until I take a couple of these! [rips off
another sheet and gives it to her]
Daphne: [reading what's written, eyes widening] Oh now, I really
don't think you're in...
Frasier: Thank you! But the moment I give a fig about what you think
is the day that England produces a great chef, a world-class
bottle of wine, and a car that has a decent electrical
system!
Daphne: [furious] You know, being a health-care provider, I try to
be sympathetic towards my patients, but I have reached the
end of my tether with you, Doctor. You are by far the most
ungrateful, disagreeable, self-centred, whiny fusspot I've
ever had the misfortune of dealing with! I've had patients
on their deathbeds who were more considerate, and a damn
sight more jolly too! As far as I'm concerned, you can lay
in those sweaty sheets till you're one giant bedsore!
Frasier: Are you done?
Daphne: [calming down somewhat] Yes.
Frasier: Now scurry on down to the drugstore and get those filled
while I get dressed!
RADIO DAZE
KACL : outside the studio, Frasier walks in, unkempt and a bit high.
He meets Gil as he's about to go in.
Gil: Oh, Frasier! What a surprise to see you here today!
Frasier: Oh, it's no wonder! I've taken some wonder drugs, I feel
wonderful!! [laughs] So I'm going to go do my show now... So
ta ta, Pieman!
He pulls open the door and enters, where Niles is talking.
Niles: Thank you, Greta. It's always satisfying to know I've
changed someone's life! [turns and realises Frasier has
entered] Oh, look who's just wandered into my booth! It's my
brother, Frasier!
Frasier: Hello Niles, I've come to take back the reins of my show...
so you can just... scoot out of there. [Roz comes in]
Niles: I think this might be a good time to go to a commercial.
This is Dr. Niles Crane, let's get better. [puts in the
right tape and takes off his headphones]
Roz: [hesitantly] You OK, Frasier? Your eyes look a little
glassy.
Frasier: [dismissively] I'm fine! It's just that the drugs I took
have some minor side effects.
Roz: Frasier, look at me. [she makes him sit] Do you see trails
when I do this? [passes her hand repeatedly across his eyes]
Frasier: Whoa!! [laughs] It wasn't doing that before!
Niles: [holding Frasier's gaze steady by propping up the latter's
chin with his fingers] You're not going on the air like
this. Stop it. Stay - stay... This is what you're going to
do. You're going to bed, you're going to get rest, you're
going to get rid of this fever... so you can be as good as
new. Let's get better. Alright? [removes his fingers]
Alright?
Frasier: [docilely, seeming appeased] Alright. OK. Maybe... maybe the
two of you could help me find someone to drive me home? [he
stands and moves to the door]
Roz: Oh, that's the most sensible thing you've said so far!
He shoves them both out the door and locks it. Rushing madly across
his booth into Roz's, he locks her door too even as Roz and Niles
chase him back and forth.
Roz: [yelling] Frasier!! Frasier!!!!
Frasier sits back down in his chair as he pulls the headphone on.
Roz and Niles look in helplessly after banging on the door a few
more times.
Frasier: Hello, Seattle, I'm back! This is Dr. Frasier Crane. I
promise I will never leave you again... so, let's take our
first caller. [deepening his voice] Hello, I'm listening.
Robert: Hi, Dr. Crane. Thanks for taking my call. I'm a little
nervous. Okay? My name is Robert.
Frasier: And your name is?
Robert: My name is Robert.
Frasier: Oh, I'm sorry. We've already had a Robert on the show today.
[presses a button to disconnect Robert] Goodbye!
Roz: [on the payphone outside the studio] Tony, it's Roz. Could
you get security up here? Captain Kirk's got control of the
bridge and he's gone insane.
Frasier: [still on the air] Who is this?
Janice: I'm Janice.
Frasier: Well, Janice, what's your problem?
Janice: Well, I'm having a problem breaking through a barrier with
my in-laws.
Frasier: Boring!
He jabs another button and disconnects her, then picks up on another
line.
Frasier: [cheerfully] Hello! You're on the crane with Frasier Air!
Marjorie: Hi, Dr. Crane. This is Marjorie. You see, I'm..
I'm having a problem with my boss. He doesn't seem to
respect me, and I don't have the courage to confront him.
Frasier: OK, OK, Marjorie. Well, let's, let's see... Let's do a
little role-playing, OK? Look, I'll be your boss, you be
yourself, you be Marjorie... and uh - come on in and talk
to me in a very forceful way. Tell me what you think, and
you just might be surprised by what happens!
Marjorie: Well, OK. "Listen, Mr. Ross. I've worked for this company
for six years and I've never missed a day. But you've
constantly promoted people less qualified than I am, and I
don't think that's fair."
As she speaks, Frasier makes a shooing motion with his right hand
and presumedly starts seeing trails again. He keeps waving his hand
until she stops talking.
Frasier: "Well, Marjorie, I'm must say I admire your forthrightness,
and uh... I wished more of my employees came and spoke to
me with an open mind. You know, you're going to get that
promotion!"
Marjorie: Hey, that was great!
Frasier: [excited] Yeah! Wasn't it? Wasn't it? OK, it's my turn!!
I'm Marjorie and you're the boss now! Come on! Come on...
At this point, the door has been forced open and Niles comes in with
some uniformed security guards.
Niles: [gently] Frasier, these nice men are going to take your
home.
Frasier: [in dazed confusion] I'm - I'm I'm doing my show! [a guard
takes the headphones off his ears] I can't! I'm on the air!
Roz: [humouring him] No, you're not! We cut you off. You're on
commercial.
Niles: Don't you worry your little mucous-filled head about
anything. Everything's under control.
The guards have been slowly pushing Frasier out of the booth on his
swivel chair.
Frasier: [pitifully] But my show! It's my booth! [exiting the door]
Hey this is fun! Can you go faster???
Roz: [urgently] Five seconds, Niles. [she rushes into her booth]
[Niles puts on the headphones and Roz cues him by pointing.]
Niles: Hello! This is Dr. Niles Crane again and no, we haven't
taken leave of our senses. That bit of inspired lunacy you
heard before the commercial was just a little docudrama
Frasier and I put together on the dangers of over-
medication.
At this point, we see Frasier in the hallway behind the studio,
running wildly away as the guards chase him off the screen.
Niles: Bravo, Frasier, for so brilliantly demonstrating why they call
it 'dope'!
THE SCENE CHANGES to Frasier's bedroom : he bolts awake, as he did
earlier in the show and starts yelling again.
Frasier: [hysterically] Daphne, I had another dream! I dreamt I went
down to the station all doped-up and tried to take over my
show and made a big fool out of myself and they... they
dragged me out of there like a lunatic in a butterfly net!!!
Daphne: [comfortingly] Now, now, that was just a dream. You go back
to sleep. You'll feel better in the morning
Frasier: Can I have another lemonade... with fresh lemons and maybe a
little sprig of mint?
Daphne: [sweetly] Anything you want.
Frasier falls back onto his bed, asleep.
Martin: Why'd you tell him it was a dream?
Daphne: No fun telling him the truth now... I'll wait till tomorrow
morning. When he's good and lucid.
End Of Act Two (Time: 22:00)
Credits:
We see Frasier seated in his booth, talking very normally into
the mike. He looks over toward Roz's booth, smiling, and the camera
follows his gaze. What we see seated there, on top of the console,
is not Roz... but Eddie with the headphones on! Suddenly, we see Roz
jerking awake, freaked out. She looks around her warily, then,
consoled, she puts her headphones back on.
Legal Stuff
This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by transcriber, Shawne Wang
and editer, Nicholas Hartley. This episode summary remains property
of Frasier, Copyright of Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed
without permission.
