DR. NILES CRANE - Health History


(Episode references are in parentheses.)




















Was born in 1957. (3.11)
Has abnormally well-developed calf-muscles (1.3) and is slim-hipped. (11.3)
Has never had colitis a day in his life.  (1.3)
Occasionally suffers from an old bossa nova injury.  (8.20)
Does not eat bacon because of the nitrates. (1.3)
Gets nosebleeds when violating his sense of ethics, such as when lying. (1.7 and 3.5)
At nine, was under a doctor's strict orders to stay out of sunlight. (1.9)
Throws out his back whenever he carries Maris's makeup case (1.21) or occasionally when adjusting the seat in his Mercedes. (4.10)
Has delicate features. (1.21)
Has a keen sense of smell (1.3) and has always been able to identify a sauce from a great distance. (5.7)
Practices Tai Chi exercises (2.4) and earned a yellow belt in kickboxing. (7.16)
Smokes cigars. (2.8 and 6.13)
Never eats German food (2.13) and likes carrots (1.4) but hates celery. (5.20)
Has shy kidneys (2.13) that are unusually small. (2.19)
Knees turn to jelly whenever he stares into the eyes of a beautiful woman. (2.14)
Learned at his first wedding that he's plagued by a congenital heart murmur. (2.16)
Is fine-boned (2.17) with refined bearing and swimmer's build. (2.21 and 4.10) 
Broke his collar bone in two places climbing a tree to retrieve a kite. (3.3)
Breaks out into hives (3.8) and has a pine tree rash allergy (10.10) and has a Spackle allergy. (10.12)
Bleeds like a member of the Russian royal family (3.10) and faints at the sight of blood. (6.14)
Had an inflamed instep in prep school. (4.5)
Had asthma and required an inhaler. (4.24)
Has occasional bouts of narcolepsy when facing stress.  (5.15)
Gets sea sickness. (7.1)
Has hay-fever allergies. (6.10)
Allergic to cats, (5.16) parchment mites, (6.19) wheat germ, oat bran, carob and sea scallops (7.1 and 8.13) and cumin (8.13) rose-hips and Jerusalem artichokes (10.22) Spackle (10.12) and pine trees (10.10). 
Has a bug phobia (7.1) and a fear of heights (7.12) as well as authority figures. (7.21)
Suffered from involuntary bed-wetting until 12 or 13 years old. (9.21)
Broke his leg when he was 8 years old falling down the stairs wearing an opera cape. (10.8)
Congenitally short hamstrings. (10.17)
Sperm has low motility. (11.1)
Had mononucleosis in his senior year at Yale (11.8)
Has no cough reflex, and excellent bladder control. (1.23)
Has problem follicles. (7.21)