Beware Of Greeks Written by David Lloyd
Directed by Jeff Melman
=====================================================================
Production Code: 5.16.
Original Airdate on NBC: 17th March 1998
Transcript written on 14th July 2000
Transcript revised on 4th June 2001
This transcript may not be complete because of syndication cuts.
Transcript {mike lee}
[ACT ONE]
[Scene One – KACL.
Frasier is wrapping up his show.]
Frasier: Well, that's all the time we have for this afternoon,
Seattle. This is Dr. Frasier Crane, wishing you good
afternoon, and good mental health.
[He goes off the air and starts gathering his things into his
briefcase. Roz comes into his booth.]
Roz: Frasier, if I ask your opinion about something, will you
give me an honest answer and not just tell me what you think
I want to hear?
Frasier: Absolutely, Roz. Anytime, all you have to do is ask.
[Behind his back, Roz puts on a new hat. Frasier turns around,
looks — and heads for the door.]
Roz: Oh, I knew it.
Frasier: Oh, no, no, Roz, I'm just kidding. I love it!
Roz: Really?
Frasier: Yes, it looks great.
Roz: Are you sure?
Frasier: Trust me.
Roz: O.K. It's just in my condition I'm just a little insecure.
You know, every time I see something cute in the window, I
remember how I look and I think, "no way."
[A handsome, dark-haired young man appears in the glass, sees
Frasier, and knocks, grinning.]
Roz: Here we go again.
Frasier: Gosh, that's my cousin! Nikos! What are you doing here?
Nikos: [coming through the door] I was in the neighborhood, I
thought I'd stop by!
[They hug.]
Frasier: Oh, it's great to see you! My God, it's been ages. Oh yes,
I'd like you to meet my producer, Roz Doyle.
Roz: [shaking hands] Hi.
Frasier: This is Nikos, my father's brother's son.
Roz: Well, I would have never pegged you for a Crane.
Frasier: Oh, well, he's half Greek. He gets his looks from his mom.
Roz: I'll bet he gets looks from lots of women.
Frasier: Roz!
Nikos: It's nice to meet you.
Roz: Yeah, you too. You know, I never knew Frasier had a cousin.
Nikos: I think he's ashamed of me. Why else would he turn down an
invitation to my wedding?
Frasier: You're getting married?
Nikos: Yeah, on Saturday. Don't tell me you didn't get the
invitation.
Frasier: Well, no, it's the first I'm hearing of it!
Nikos: I knew it. I knew Mom wasn't telling the truth. She said
she never heard back from you.
Frasier: She must still be nursing that grudge.
Roz: Uh-oh, this sounds like, you know, personal, private, family
stuff. [sits in Frasier's chair and puts her feet up] So,
what's this grudge you're talking about?
Nikos: Oh, it's all so silly. Mom has never forgiven Frasier for
some career advice he gave me. And, trust me, he saved me
from going down the wrong path.
Frasier: Well, thank you, Nikos. Well, I'd certainly hate to miss
this wedding. I wonder if there's some way we could work
this out. You want to go grab a cup of coffee?
Nikos: Sure.
Frasier: Great!
Roz: So, what was the wrong path?
Frasier: Oh, Roz, it's rather a long story—
Nikos: My folks wanted me to go to medical school.
Roz: Ah, so what path did you choose instead?
Frasier: We don't really have the time to into all that right now—
Nikos: I became a juggler. I perform on street corners.
Roz: Ah, I see. And all because of his advice. Tell me, do
people sometimes toss you coins?
Nikos: Sure, lots of times.
Roz: [handing him her hat] Well, here's something you can catch
them in.
[Scene Two – Apartment
Frasier has just delivered the news to Martin, who is having his
blood pressure taken by Daphne. Niles is pouring himself sherry.]
Martin: You and your damned advice!
Daphne: Mr. Crane, Dr. Rudnik asked me to monitor your blood
pressure, and I'd like to get an accurate reading.
Frasier: Stop pointing fingers. Why don't we try to solve this
problem?
Martin: I don't see how! She's a vindictive woman, and she's gonna
keep on punishing us because of you! If you kept your big
trap shut for just once in your life, my nephew would
probably be a surgeon now, and I'd be going to his wedding!
Daphne: There, now — 240 over 11. Sounds about right!
Niles: Personally, I'd have loved to have gone, but this is clearly
a snub and we Crane men have our pride. Right, Dad?
Frasier: Oh, stop it, Niles! You're just afraid of seeing Cousin
Yvonne, aren't you?
Daphne: Who's Cousin Yvonne?
Frasier: Oh, a distant cousin who has a slight crush on Niles.
Niles: "A slight crush?" There are cannibals who are less man-
hungry.
Daphne: That's funny, I've always thought it would be kind of
romantic to have a secret admirer, someone who longed for me
that much. But I do see your point, Dr. Crane. When you
think about it, it is kind of sick.
Niles: Yeah, well, perhaps "sick" is a tad judgmental.
Martin: I can't believe that because of your big mouth, Zora won't
even let me in her restaurant!
Frasier: Forcing you to go elsewhere when you have one of your
frequent cravings for stuffed grape leaves and zither music!
Niles: It's a moot point. We're not invited, thanks to Frasier's
more-than-usually inept advice.
[He clinks his glass against Frasier's.]
Martin: Can you imagine what it's like to live in the same city as
your brother, and not see him for five years?
Frasier: No, but I'd like to give it a try. Dad, I think that we
should go to this wedding.
Martin: Forget it, Zora doesn't want us there.
Frasier: But Nikos wants us there! My God, I watched that boy grow
up! I want to be there when he gets married!
Daphne: I'd like to venture an opinion here. I know this doesn't
exactly concern me, but I feel very strongly about this. I
like zither music, and I always have!
[She goes to her room. Silence for a moment.]
Frasier: And we're back! Listen, Dad—
Martin: No, drop it, Frasier. If my brother's wife doesn't see fit
to invite me, I am not just going to show up.
[He gets up and goes to his room.]
Niles: End of story, case closed, that's all she wrote!
Frasier: Oh, stop it, Niles. There are more important issues at
stake here than you being mauled by Yvonne the Terrible!
Dad is hurt, can't you see that? He misses his brother.
Well, it's my fault, and I'm going to put it right. [picks
up the phone and dials] I'm going to get in touch with Aunt
Zora. Surely she'll listen to reason. [into phone] Aunt
Zora? [she hangs up] Well, that's encouraging. She
remembered my voice.
Niles: Frasier, just give up.
Frasier: No! She can't avoid me if I go down and meet her face-to-
face. [gets his coat] I'm going to go to that restaurant.
Niles: Do you have a death wish? She'll eat you alive!
Frasier: Oh, I'm not afraid of her!
Niles: Everyone is! Have you forgotten the family legend that when
Hitler invaded Greece she joined the partisans just so she
could strangle Nazis?
Frasier: I have never believed that. She would have to have been
five years old at the time!
Niles: Well, that's why the legend says they were strangled with
jump ropes.
Frasier: Stop it!
[They go out the door.]
WELCOME TO HELL'S KITCHEN
[Scene Three – Kitchen.
The restaurant's kitchen, bustling with activity.]
[At the center is Zora — a short, muscular Greek woman — tenderizing a
steak with a mallet. A waiter comes in.]
Zora: Dmitri, pick up your order, don't make me hurt you again!
[Dmitri grabs a waiting tray and scuttles out, terrified. Frasier
comes in. Zora sees him — and redoubles her assault on the steak,
pounding the stuffing out of it. Frasier turns and runs, then steels
his courage and comes back in.]
Frasier: Aunt Zora, I realize I'm not the most welcome person here,
but—
[Zora spits at his feet.]
Frasier: It is not fair to take my mistake out on your husband, or my
father!
[Zora ignores him and walks around the kitchen, issuing orders to the
cooks. Frasier follows her, weaving through the maze of tables and
counters.]
Frasier: They didn't do anything!
Zora: [tasting a dish] More pepper!
Frasier: You have a wedding coming up, you should be joyous!
Zora: Sponge off this countertop!
Frasier: Nikos tells me his fiancee's a lovely young woman from a
wealthy family, that you like her very much!
Zora: Mop up this slop!
Frasier: So your heart should be brimming with motherly emotions!
Zora: [picks up a bent skewer] When I find out who bent this
skewer, I'm ramming it right in his eye!
Frasier: [trying to lighten the moment] You know, I've always wanted
to do this: make a trip around the Greek Islands!
[One of the cooks laughs. Zora gives him a vicious slap. Then she
picks up a meat cleaver and starts slicing a steak on a cutting
board.]
Frasier: Aunt Zora, my point is that we are family, and we should be
together. And I promise that if you invite us to this
wedding, I will never give Nikos another piece of advice for
as long as I live.
[Zora stops slicing and looks up.]
Frasier: I'm through meddling, you have my word. And if you do
invite us to the wedding, I also promise that I'll promote
this wonderful, wonderful restaurant of yours on my radio
program.
[Zora's face is expressionless, but she seems to be considering it.]
Frasier: Every day for a... month?
[Zora slams the cleaver into the wood, making him jump.]
Zora: [joyous] Frasier!
[She throws her arms around him.]
Frasier: You forgive me!
Zora: Of course, of course! And you don't just come to the
wedding! You come to the rehearsal dinner too! Tomorrow
night, right here, because we are family! Here, eat!
[She grabs a spoonful of something from a pot and shoves it in his
mouth. The taste is enough to make him gag, but he converts his
since into an emotive grimace.]
Zora: My very special kokaretski, for a very special nephew!
Oh God, I'm such a softie! I'll be crying in a minute!
[She hugs him again.]
Frasier: [mouth still full] Me, too!
[END OF ACT ONE]
[ACT TWO]
LORD OF THE DANCE
[Scene Four – Restaurant
The rehearsal party is in full swing, packed with guests. A bouzouki
plays in the corner, and some people are dancing.]
[Frasier comes in, followed by a very tightly-wound Niles.]
Niles: Well, I hope you enjoy yourself, Mr. Blessed-Are-the-
Peacemakers!
Frasier: Will you stop complaining? The rehearsal went beautifully.
Cousin Yvonne didn't even get near you.
Niles: How could she? I spent half the time hiding in the
confessional! By the way, Mrs. Pappas is having an affair.
[Zora comes over, followed by Martin's younger brother Ed with a
video camera.]
Zora: There they are, my two favorite nephews! [hugs them] Ed, get
me with the boys! [poses with them] You know, I am so glad
you are coming to the wedding tomorrow. There is nothing
sadder than a divided family, am I right?
Frasier: Quite right.
Niles: Absolutely, absolutely. When Frasier told me we weren't
invited to the wedding, I—
Yvonne: There you are, Niles!
Niles: Just kill me now.
[Yvonne — a powerfully-built, curly-haired woman in a tight blue dress
that shows off her ample cleavage — attaches herself to Niles's arm.]
Niles: Hello, Yvonne.
Yvonne: I haven't seen you two in a long time!
Niles: [eyes on her bosom] Oh well, I haven't seen your two in a
long time — "you, too," "you, too!"
Yvonne: Oh, well, we've got a lot of catching up to do. Let's go
get us a glass of bubbly!
Niles: Oh, you know, I don't think so—
Zora: Oh, go on, enjoy! it's none of that sissy French wine, it's
real Greek champagne!
Frasier: Ooh, save some for me Niles!
[Yvonne drags Niles away. Frasier blends into the crowd. Martin
comes in with Daphne.]
Zora: And here he is, my favorite brother-in-law! Martin, it's
been too long!
Martin: It sure has. Say, where's Walt? We got a lot of catching up
to do.
Zora: Oh, don't worry, he'll be here. [noticing Daphne] Who is this
pretty young thing?
Martin: Oh, this is Daphne Moon. She's my physical therapist.
Zora: Oh. That's what they call it these days? [slaps him
playfully] You dirty old man!
[She shakes a fist and moves off laughing. Martin tries to
simultaneously correct her and mollify Daphne, who's saying "I've
never been so insulted!" etc., etc.]
[In another corner, Nikos introduces a pretty young blond woman to
Frasier.]
Nikos: This is my fiancée, Mary-Ann Taubeneck.
Frasier: Mary-Ann, it's a pleasure. Taubeneck? As in the Taubeneck
Building?
Mary-Ann: Yeah, and Taubeneck Park, etc., etc. That was my
grandfather, the original robber baron.
Nikos: Mary-Ann has some issues with her family.
[Mary-Ann points to her parents, a well-dressed, middle-aged couple
sitting at a table, whose disposition is definitely more funereal
than matrimonial.]
Mary-Ann: Look at them sulking over there. You should have seen
their faces when I told them I was marrying a street
person.
Nikos: Performer. Street performer.
Mary-Ann: Oh, right. Anyway, they've got it coming after all the
debutante nonsense they put me through. [waves to someone]
Would you excuse me?
[She walks away.]
Nikos: Great, isn't she?
Frasier: Yes. How did you meet?
Nikos: A few months back, I performed at one of her parents' garden
parties. They were really snooty to me. That seemed to
spark something in her. She asked me for a date right in
front of them. That's how she is. She likes to play with
her parents' heads.
Frasier: Yes, well, so did Lizzie Borden.
Nikos: What do you mean?
Frasier: Oh, I can't help thinking that... nothing. Just a bad joke.
She seems like a lovely girl.
Nikos: Yeah, she really is. My family adores her. You should hear
my mom, she thinks Crystal's the best thing that ever
happened to me.
Frasier: Crystal?
Nikos: Did I say that? I mean Mary-Ann. I must have been admiring
the beautiful crystal over there, that's why I called her
crystal.
Frasier: Yes, it's a good thing you weren't admiring the pork-butt!
Nikos: I'm so nervous these days, I don't know what I'm saying. I
guess it's just a case of pre-wedding jitters, right?
[Zora comes over.]
Zora: Nikos, Nikos, go check on the sous-chef, make sure he isn't
into the ouzo!
[Nikos goes into the kitchen.]
Zora: Last time, he drank until he got his head caught in the duck
press.
Frasier: Oh, really? How did he manage that?
Zora: [friendly menace] With my help. So, what were you and Nikos
talking about?
Frasier: Oh, now, now, now, Aunt Zora, don't you worry. I made you a
promise, and I'd die before I'd break it.
Zora: Or soon after. So, you met Mary-Ann?
Frasier: Yes, yes, lovely girl. You must be very proud.
Zora: Oh, and relieved! Do you know that crazy son of mine was
going steady with a juggler for three years? Crystal-
somebody. [Frasier's ears prick up] Can you imagine having a
daughter-in-law who throws things for a living? It's
embarrassing.
[She looks around, decides she doesn't like the lull, and hurls two
plates to the floor.]
Zora: DANCE, people! Let us celebrate tonight!
[Zora goes off. Martin comes over.]
Martin: Hey, Frasier, thanks for settling everything with Zora.
Frasier: Oh, it's my pleasure, Dad.
Martin: But, you know, I can't find Walt. I've been waiting five
years for this reunion.
Frasier: Must be here somewhere. Now, did you know that Nikos and
Mary-Ann have only known each other for—
Martin: Oh, there he is!
[Walter Crane, Martin's younger brother [but older than Ed], waves.]
Frasier: Well, this is so exciting! You two must have so much to
talk about! Uncle Walt, hello!
Walt: Frasier! Marty...
Martin: Walt...
Walt: What's new?
Martin: Oh, same-old, same-old. How's tricks?
Walt: Eh, can't complain. They keeping you busy?
Martin: Oh, better believe it.
Walt: Well, what're you gonna do?
Martin: Tell me about it.
Frasier: It's amazing how you two can pick up right where you left
off.
[Cut to: Later
Frasier wanders over to a shelf of wine bottles. Curious, he takes
two down to check the labels — revealing Niles's face hiding behind
the shelf.]
Niles: Psst! Put those back!
Frasier: [noticing him] Niles! Do you realize how pathetic this is?
Niles: I don't care! At dinner, Zora announced that I'd filed for
divorce! Within seconds, Yvonne began purring so loudly my
allergies kicked in! I won't be safe until this wedding is
over!
Frasier: The wedding I'm beginning to think might just be a serious
mistake.
Niles: Ooh, I like the sound of that. Does this mean you're going
to meddle and get us both thrown out?
Frasier: I can't! I promised I wouldn't!
Niles: Oh, dear God, here she comes again!
[As Yvonne comes over, Frasier turns around, his head hiding
Niles's.]
Yvonne: Hi, Frasier, have you seen Niles?
Frasier: Why, no, I haven't.
Yvonne: Oh! [goes off again]
[Cut to: Later
Daphne is sitting alone. Martin brings a plate of food over.]
Martin: Here we go.
Daphne: How much longer do we have stay?
Martin: What are you in such a snit about?
Daphne: This lot. Thanks to your sister-in-law they're all sniggering
about me being your "physical therapist."
Martin: Oh, don't let it bother you. She's always been a pain.
Daphne: You're telling me. Dried-up old grape leaf!
Martin: Yeah, and she's one to talk about reputations, too! Between
you and me, before she married my brother, she was easier to
make than a peanut butter sandwich!
Daphne: [laughs] Does everyone know that?
Martin: Well, everybody except my brother. I mean, I love him dearly,
but he's not exactly the brightest bulb in the, uh...
Daphne: Bulb box?
Martin: Yeah. Shh, here's Eddie! [Ed comes over] Hey, Eddie!
Where's the camera?
Ed: Aha, then it worked. It's right here.
[He flips up the tablecloth at the next table, revealing the camera
pointed at Martin and Daphne's table. They blanche.]
Ed: I decided to go undercover. I wanted to get people just
being themselves.
Martin: Oh well, we were really boring, believe me! Why don't you
just rewind it a few minutes and tape over it?
Ed: Funny. Mrs. Pappas said the same thing.
[He moves off. In another corner, Frasier is seated opposite Nikos.]
Frasier: So, why did you and this Crystal break up? I mean, I'm not
meddling, I'm just curious, that's all.
Nikos: It was a career conflict. She's a juggler, too. You may
have heard of her — Crystal Baker?
Frasier: No. I, uh, don't get to street theatre as often as I
should.
Nikos: Fabulous performer. Fabulous girl, for that matter. But,
she wanted to work in Paris and I wanted to stay here.
Frasier: Yes, well, there's always pressure on the two-career family.
Nikos: We had a big fight about it. Then Mary-Ann came along. By
the time Crystal got back, I was engaged.
Frasier: And how did she take the news?
Nikos: She was crushed. But she's been wonderful, like she called
me a few nights ago to congratulate me. We talked for
hours, just like old times. She's a sweetheart.
Frasier: Yes, she's starting to sound like one.
Nikos: Yeah, it was really great talking with her. I felt happy...
purely happy. Maybe the last time I did. I mean, since
then it's been all the usual pre-wedding stuff. You know,
the jitters, night-sweats, vomiting.
Frasier: Nikos, I promised your mother that I would never again
interfere in your life—
Nikos: Interfere? You saved me from making a terrible mistake! I-
I value your advice above anything.
Frasier: All right, then. In the interests of your future happiness,
I feel it's my duty to let you know—
[Zora comes over.]
Zora: Nikos, please go make your Uncle Stavros to stop dancing on the
table.
[Nikos goes. She sits opposite Frasier.]
Zora: Just once it would be nice to have a family gathering where
no one leaves in an ambulance, am I right?
Frasier: Yes, wouldn't it?
[Martin and Daphne are following Ed around, trying to get at the
camera.]
Martin: Hey, Eddie, come on, you've been working ever since I've been
here! You haven't even had a chance to chow down!
Ed: Well, I wouldn't mind grabbing a bite.
Martin: Well, hand me that thing, then. I know how to run that baby.
Ed: [hands the camera over] Be careful, that tape is historic!
Martin: Oh.
Ed: I have interviewed every single living member of the family.
I even went out to the retirement home and taped Nikos's
great-grandmother — 101 years old.
Martin: That's amazing. [Ed leaves] Wow, 101. Gosh, that's older
than the century. She probably has got more stories than
anybody else has... I can't do this.
Daphne: Think you have to press this button right here.
Martin: Oh, thanks.
[He ejects the tape and merrily drops it into an urn on the floor.]
Martin: Bye!
[Daphne puts the lid on the urn. They slip away. Zora picks up a
wireless microphone.]
Zora: O.K., everybody, gather round, we're going to have some toasts
here! So, if everybody will stop what they're doing for just
one minute and come closer...
[As Zora speaks, Frasier notices Niles peering out through the
porthole in the kitchen door. He goes into the kitchen.]
Frasier: For God's sake, Niles, why don't you just hide in the men's
room?
Niles: Where do you think Yvonne is right now? [checks out window]
Where have you been?
Frasier: Well, I've been on the phone. I've been trying to contact
Nikos's ex-girlfriend.
Niles: The depths you'll sink to to get a date.
Frasier: I am convinced that he's still in love with her, and she
with him! I thought if I could get the two of them together
he might realize it in time. Niles, I couldn't reach her,
she's out working tonight. I had to leave a message with
her roommate.
Niles: Well, perhaps the time has come for you to—
[He ducks out the "Out" door just as Yvonne comes through the "In"
door.]
Yvonne: Hi.
Frasier: Hello, Yvonne.
[She goes out the "Out" door just as Niles ducks through the "In"
door.]
Niles: -stop playing games and start being direct!
Zora: [o.s.] Frasier? Where's Frasier Crane?
Frasier: Oh, dear God.
[He goes out into the dining room. Niles follows him and sits down.
All the guests are seated. Nikos and Mary-Ann stand together in the
middle, with Zora hovering around them.]
Zora: Ah, there you are! Come up here and make a toast to the
happy couple!
Frasier: Well, all right, I guess a thought or two comes to mind.
[takes the microphone] Well, I've known Nikos all his life,
and I'm sure that he realizes marriage is a binding
commitment, not to be entered into hastily—
Zora: [sensing trouble] But when the right one comes along, you
know it! Hmm?
Frasier: And that it's very important to-to find the person that
you're most compatible with. The one who makes you feel
happy . . . purely happy.
Zora: More important, makes me feel happy, eh?
Frasier: Of course, it would be a shame to go through life having to
say, "if I'd only waited . . ."
Zora: Hey, what the hell kind of toast is this, anyway?!
Frasier: [getting his last shot in] I just want to make sure that my
cousin marries the woman that he truly loves the most.
Zora: Oh, well, there! Cheers, everybody! [takes the microphone]
Oh, thank you, Frasier. If I may say a word or two? My son
Nikos and I have had our ups and downs, but tonight, at this
moment, I can honestly say— what the hell are you doing
here?!
[Crystal—a short dark-haired girl still wearing a clown costume and
folie makeup painted on her face—has just entered.]
Nikos: Crystal!
Crystal: Nikos! I couldn't let you get married without... without
letting you know that I-I...
[She can't find the words. Instead, she grabs some long breadsticks
and tosses one to Nikos. He picks up two more, and they start relay-
juggling them.]
Zora: Nikos, what are you doing? Stop it!
Niles: [aside] How did she get the message?
Frasier: Her roommate must have reached her on her car phone!
Niles: Jugglers have car phones?
Zora: Nikos, you are ruining everything! [to Crystal] You, shoo,
shoo, shoo!
[They ignore her and finish juggling. Nikos embraces her.]
Mary-Ann: Nikos! Nikos!
Nikos: I'm sorry, Mary-Ann, but Crystal's the one I'm meant to be
with.
Mary-Ann: I will never forgive you for this!
[She turns to her parents, who are now beaming with relief.]
Mary-Ann: Oh, see how happy you've made my parents?!
[She storms out in a huff. Zora corners Frasier.]
Zora: Frasier, he's lost his mind! Talk to him, he listens to
you!
Frasier: You remember my promise, no more meddling!
[Nikos takes the microphone.]
Nikos: Excuse me, everyone. This may not exactly be appropriate,
but I have a toast too. To the man who reunited me with the
woman I plan to spend my life with—
Frasier: No, no, inappropriate! Toast time is over!
Nikos: But we want to offer you our thanks—
Frasier: No, no, no, no. You know what, everyone, why don't we do
some bouzouki dancing?
[He breaks into a feverish routine that makes me hysterical every
time I watch it - rapping out "Ya-da-da-da!'s" while dancing the way a
marionette version of Zorba the Greek might.]
Zora: Why are they thanking you?
[Crystal holds Frasier's hand.]
Crystal: We owe our happiness to him.
Frasier: [headed for the gallows] Why couldn't she have been a mime?
Nikos: Once again, he saved me from making a terrible mistake. So,
everyone, please lift your glasses to my cousin, Frasier
Crane!
Zora: Oh, I can do better than a glass!
[She grabs a bottle by the neck and smashes the end off.]
Frasier: No! Aunt Zora, no! Out of my way!
[He flees into the kitchen, Zora right after him. As the noise
grows, Niles and Daphne calmly get up and head out. Martin and Walt
shake hands.]
Martin: Well, Walt...
Walt: Marty...
Martin: Goodbye again.
[He limps out of the restaurant. Nikos and Crystal kiss, the
musicians play, the dancers dance, and the party goes on as the
sounds of crashes and Frasier's screams for mercy continue from the
kitchen.]
[Scene Z – Restaurant
Through the viewfinder of the video camera, we see Niles sitting in a
chair, Yvonne enthusiastically pawing him. He motions to Ed to pose
with Yvonne.]
[The camera shifts around as it changes hands, then Ed sits down next
to Yvonne. Then the camera turns over as Niles hastily puts it down,
pointing at the kitchen doors.]
[Niles hastily retreats into the kitchen. Yvonne follows him in.
Niles retreats out again, with her right after him.]
Guest Appearances
Special Guest Stars
PATTIT LuPONE as Zora
Guest Starring
VALERIE DILLMAN as Mary-Ann
JAMES GLEASON as Ed
LORI HARMON as Yvonne
HEIDI KARP as Crystal
JOHN MAHON as Walt
JOSEPH WILL as Nikos
Legal Stuff
This episode capsule is copyright 2000 by Nick Hartley & Mike Lee.
This episode summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright
of Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed without permission.
