Three Dates And A Break Up [2] Written by Rob Greenberg
Directed by Jeff Melman
=====================================================================
Production Code: 4.20.
Original Airdate on NBC: 29th April 1997
Transcript written on 19th June 1999
....Continued From
This was first screened as a one hour special and thus act one lasted
the length of one normal episode. So I have included act one in it's
own capsuel at [4.19] "Three Dates And A Break Up [1]".
Quotes & Scene Summary {nick hartley}
Act Two.
PROFESSOR CRANE'S
SELF-DELUSION 101
Scene 1 - Frasier's apartment.
Frasier is asleep on his couch that same evening as Daphne walks in
ready to leave.
Daphne: Dr. Crane, are you alright?
Frasier: Daphne, sssh... do you hear that?
Daphne: What?
Frasier: The sound of a Sherry-free apartment. [Daphne rolls her
eyes] I've been basking in it for the last thirty minutes.
Right now, I feel like a sea front village after the vikings
have left.
The doorbell rings and Frasier jumps off of his couch.
Frasier: That must be Niles! [opens the door to Niles]
Niles: Frasier.
Frasier: [happy:] Niles. I'd offer you a cherry but I'm fresh out!
[they slam their chests together]
Niles: I can't believe dad finally came to his senses! Oh, shall we
attempt a high five?
Frasier: Well no, not after what happened last time - your watch band
got caught in my hair...
Niles: What a reflief to finally have things back to normal.
Frasier: Yes.
Daphne creeps up behind him and in an American accent greets him:
Daphne: Hey there Dr. Crane! How's tricks?
Niles turns round and upon seeing who it is and upon hearing the
voice she is using gives a startled scream which even knocks Daphne
back a bit.
Daphne: I'm trying my American accent.
Niles: Well stop it! I mean, we Americans are sensitive about
our... crude speech patterns.
Daphne: [reverts back to Mancunian:] I'm sorry, I didn't mean to
offend.
Niles: No, no it's quite alright. You have a real flare for
accents. Just out of curiousity have you ever tried a saucy
French chamber maid?
Frasier: Niles! [with hands says him to quit]
Niles: Frasier's just been telling me how well dad's been taking
the break up with Sherry.
Daphne: Yes, a little too well if you ask me!
Frasier: Daphne, we had this discussion all ready - he's fine!
Daphne: He's in a lot more pain than he's letting on. You just don't
see it because you like having your apartment back.
Frasier: Leave the complex analyis to the professionals!
Martin: [enters room:] Oh hi Niles. Feel like going to the movies
with me and Daphne?
Niles: Oh thanks, but I have plans. Listen dad, I'm sorry to hear
about you and Sherry
Martin: Oh, that's alright. There's nothing to be sorry about. It's
kinda fun to go back to my old bachelor days - yeah, don't
worry about me. Easy come, easy go. Do you want a blowmaker?
Niles: No thanks.
Martin: [nearly all in a sentance:] More for me, I should bake a few
of those for the movies you know
Daphne: Mr. Crane..
Martin: Come on, I'm only kidding - no it's kinda fun to laugh at
things again: that was the problem with Sherry she had no
sense of humor just a real stick in the mud, you know, well,
hey, we better get going, don't want to be late - I'll get
the elevator! [exits]
Daphne: Well, [sarcastic to Frasier:] what's your diagnosis now?
Frasier: It's a clear cut case of Post-Sherry Euphoria! [a bell is
heard from the kitchen as Daphne leaves] Oh, there's my
canopés.
Niles: Oh right. Date number two. I'll be off as well. You can fill
me in tomorrow.
Frasier: You'll get a full debriefing - as hopefully will I.
Niles cringes and leaves as Frasier prepares his food.
Frasier: [brings food in he talks to Eddie:] Alright, young animal:
learn from the master! Now, bottle these time honoured
traditions and you two might get lucky with that young
Pickanese peach you've been eyeing in the park. Now, for
mood: Vivaldi. And then for lightning: not so bright as to
show the wrinkels - not so dark as to make her think you're
hiding anything. [plays with the lights as the doorbell
goes:] Oops, leaving nothing to chance: Pouisse Fuisse 1992:
elector ala garts. [tastes it:] Dear God, I could teach a
course!
Frasier goes over to the front door and opens it to Adair.
Frasier: Adair. Come in, may I take your coat.
Adair: [enters:] Thank you. It's so nice of you to have me over. I
hope you didn't go to any trouble.
Frasier: Oh nothing special.
Adair: I guess I feel so strange. I mean, one night I'm at Dr.
Frasier Crane's house for a benefit - two days later I'm
back at his house for a date.
Frasier: Well if there's one thing I've learned - that life is
nothing without spontaneity.
Frasier spontaneously switches on the Vivaldi music making Adair
wonder what happened.
Frasier: Come and have a look at the city. [points to window]
Adair: [taken back:] Oh what a lovely view. I didn't fully
appreciate it the other night.
Frasier: [staring at her:] My sentiments exactly. Here, a glass of
wine. [hands her] Here we are. To... possibilities.
They clink glasses and take a drink.
Adair: I wonder if I can see my apartment from here?
Frasier: Well if you can: don't tell me. I have a telescope and I'm
not to be trusted! [laughs]
Adair: Funny, Charming, next thing I'm going to find out that
you're a great cook.
Frasier: Well, [modest:] don't get your hopes up! [showing her his
prepared meal:] Duck compée.
As Frasier begins to toot his own trumpet the doorbell sounds.
Frasier runs to answer is it and is worried when Sherry answers it.
Sherry: Hello Frasier.
Frasier: Sherry. Er, my father's not here right now - I'll tell him
you stopped by.
Sherry: Oh wait, I just came by to pick something up.
Frasier: Well, why don't you tell me what it is - I'll have it
messengered over tomorrow.
Sherry: [upset:] It's my banjo! Can't I have it?
Frasier: Alright, listen, I'm on a date here. So just try to make it
quick.
Sherry: Okay. [to Adair:] Hi, how are you?
Frasier: [worried:] She's fine, we're fine, go on.
Frasier ushers her out of the room to Martin's bedroom. He explains
to Adair.
Frasier: Father's ex-girlfriend. [laughs] Well, where we?
Adair: Let me just say that this duck is superb. And the way the
wine compliments it and the music - I'm guessing you
entertain often?
Frasier: Well, no actually I'm really rather lonely. Tell you what,
take my telescope home - you can see for yourself. [laughs
with her]
Sherry reappears from the bedroom with Banjo in tow.
Sherry: Got the banjo.
Frasier: Oh well yes okay, bye-bye.
Sherry: Bye, Frasier. [to Adair:] It was nice seeing you again.
Adair: I'm sorry have we met?
Sherry: Well, yes, on your date last night. Kimberly isn't it?
Adair: [confused:] No..
Frasier: [to Sherry:] Well you got what you came for, off you go...
Sherry: I'm sorry hun', but she does look just like the other girl
and besides you were playing the same make out music.
Frasier: Alright, off you go! [pushes her out]
Frasier puts on a brave face as he offers more wine to Adair.
Frasier: Some more wine?
Adair: Two dates in two nights isn't bad for someone who's lonely.
Frasier: My God, you could hardly call what happened last night a
date. The woman who organised the benefit came by - she just
dropped in to say thankyou.
Adair: Wait a minute. You mean Kimberly Egan? She broke up my first
marriage.
Frasier: Well I hardly know the woman - she spent all of ten minutes
here!
Adair: I'm not going through this again. [gets her coat]
Frasier: Adair! Listen, listen, this is all in your mind. I mean we
spent one night together: she means nothing to me!
Adair: [hateful:] Gee, where have I heard that before?!
Adair slams the door behind her as Frasier looks around him feeling
sorry for himself. Eddie again runs up to the table where the duck is
and stares. Then Frasier says in a similar tone to last night:
Frasier: Go ahead!
Eddie gets onto the table and eats the meal.
Scene Two - Café Nervosa.
The following afternoon Frasier and Niles are chatting about recent
events on the window seat of the café.
Frasier: So, second time in two nights Sherry manages to chase away
another date! It's like she's a scarecrow in the corn field
of my love life!
Niles: I don't know how many more of your disastorous love stories
I can hear? I'll say "when".
Roz enters the Café wearing a most beautiful green sequinned dress.
Her hair is tied sexily up behind her head and her make up has been
applied prestigeously. She is looking for someone as she chats to the
two.
Roz: Hello.
Niles: You look like an almost presentable version of someone who
works with my brother.
Roz: Bite me!
Niles: Oh it is you.
Roz: [sitting saucily:] You haven't seen my high school friend
John around here have you?
Frasier: Well no, we haven't Roz. I suppose you finally tracked him
down?
Roz: Yeah, I'm meeting him here for coffee. I'm going to tell
him on my way to a chic cocktail party. This is the "Roz" I
want him to talk about when he goes to that wedding this
weekend.
Frasier: The vain neurotic lieing Roz?
Waitress: [comes up to Roz:] Oh are you Roz?
Roz: Yes.
Waitress: There was a call for you from a John Coughlin, he said he's
sorry that he can't meet you but he had to take an earlier
flight.
Roz: Oh! [angry:] Great!
Waitress: Roz Doyle right?
Roz: Yeah.
Waitress: Sorry you don't look anything like he described on the
phone.
The waitress leaves as Roz falls back onto the chair.
Roz: Alright, before I do anything crazy - like go to the airport,
fly to Wisconsin and crash a wedding: did I really look that bad
the other day?
Sherry enters before either of them get the chance to answer.
Sherry: Hia guys.
Frasier: Oh hi Sherry.
Sherry: [to Roz:] Gee, you look familiar. Did I see your older
sister in here the other day? Oh, she must be jealous of
you!
Roz runs out of the Café shouting:
Roz: [offstage:] Taxi!
Sherry takes her seat next to the brothers.
Sherry: Mind if I join you?
Frasier: Oh of course not.
Sherry: I was hoping that I'd catch you here. Well, I've been
thinking about what happened yesturday between your dad and
me and well, I just can't figure it out. One minute we were
having a stupid argument about chopsticks and the next
minute we were broken up. Well I hate to put you on the spot
like this but did he say anything to you?
Frasier: Well, not really. You know how closed up dad is, well he did
say that the break up was a long time coming.
Sherry: Now I really am confused! I mean, I thought everything was
going fine. Well, better than fine... Ah, the other night we
both said "I Love You" for the first time.
Niles: You did?
Sherry: Yes.
Niles: It's just that in the past he's been rather reserved about
expressing himself that way.
Sherry: Well, I guess he sort of hesitated before he said it but I
mean a lot of guys do that when you spring it on them for
the first time.
Frasier: Yes well I certainly can tell why you're confused. Well....
if you'd like I could speak to him on your behalf. Ow!
Niles: Oh I'm sorry is that your shin?
Sherry: No thanks Frasier, I don't want to put you in the middle of
this. I'm just frustrated, listen er, thanks for listning.
Frasier: Of course.
Niles: Anytime.
Sherry: Well I really thought I hit the jackpot with Marty. It isn't
easy finding someone you think the world of. [to Frasier:]
Oh, I know you go tom-catting around with a different girl
every night but you can't find happiness that way.
Frasier: I haven't so far.
Sherry leaves as Frasier kicks Niles hard in the shin.
Niles: Ow! I didn't kick you that hard.
Frasier: You didn't have to kick me at all.
Niles: Well, were you seriously considering playing couples
therapist with dad and that woman, after we just got rid of
her.
Frasier: I have no intention in repairing the rift. God, last night
for the first time in months I wasn't jaulted awake at two
am by her rousing rendition of "Funky Mountain Breakdown"!
It seems a little odd that dad chose to break up with Sherry
just after he told her he loved her.
Niles: As I recall she said "hesitantly said it back to her", to me
that's clear picture of a man who didn't share her feelings.
Frasier: Yes, well I think he does share her feelings. He just
panicked out of fear.
Niles: Fear of what?
Frasier: Well, lots of things: change, commitment, becoming vunreable
to someone again. Just afraid he broke up with her for all
the wrong reasons.
Niles: Well, if he'd like a list of the right reasons it's
available on request.
Frasier: The least I can do is have a talk with him.
Niles: No, the least you can do is nothing. Dad hasn't asked for
our help: you should just let nature take it's course.
[getting an idea:] It's like one of those wild life films
with the lion chasing down the antelope. You don't ask why
the photographer doesn't interfere: you just accept it!
Frasier: As a general rule Niles: the photographer is not related to
the antelope.
Niles: Obviously you and I don't see eye to eye. [Frasier gets up
to leave:] Where are you going?
Frasier: I have a date in forty five minutes and a bleeding antelope
sitting in a baracalounger in my apartment!
Frasier leaves as the waitress is handing a drink to a neighbouring
table. She over hears this strange part of the conversation. Niles,
over ridden with jealously, decides it's the perfect opportunity to
try his flirting skills.
Niles: [to Waitress:] Suppose that sounded strange to you - I'd be
happy to explain it. Are you by any chance free at the end
of your shift?
Waitress: [half embarrased half laughing:] Sorry.
Niles: I've still got it!
He says slowly punching a fist into the air. The fist droops as he
realises how awful he really is.
HE COULDN'T HAVE WAITED
'TILL HE GOT INTO THE HOUSE
Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment.
That evening Frasier is riding the elevator to his apartment. He gets
shuffly and begins taking his belt off in order to tuck in his shirt.
However, he remembers Daphne's little friend so he holds his open
umbrella stopping Mr. Hicks from looking in.
Frasier: Not so fast, Mr. Hicks. You won't find me doing anything
foolish.
He is very proud of what he has done until he finds it hard to tuck
in with one hand. By the time the eleavator comes to a stop on his
level his trousers are half way down his legs. And guess who's
waiting to be taken down: Daphne. However, she just enters the lift
not looking surprised.
Frasier: Daphne.
Daphne: Hello Dr. Crane. Enjoy your evening,
Frasier: Yes, you too.
Daphne: [To Mr. Hicks:] He's been under a lot of stress lately.
Frasier enters the kitchen of his apartment where Martin is eating
nibbles.
Frasier: Oh dad listen, I'm glad you're home. We've gotta talk.
Martin: I can't think which conversation started that way!
Frasier: We have to talk about you and Sherry.
Martin: Why? Look, I'm fine with it. Come on, now let it go.
He enters the main room - Frasier follows.
Frasier: Dad, listen I spoke with Sherry today.
Martin: You did what? What for?
Frasier: Well she came to see me. She was a bit confused about what
happened the other day and well, from her story, I think
what you're contending with here is a classic case of panic
induced by fear of commitment.
Martin: Did you hear that Eddie? That's who buys your dog food!
Frasier: Yes, well - she also told me about a little incident that
took place the other evening where she expressed her
feelings for you and you hesitantly reciprocated.
Martin: Oh jeez, she told you about that? Look, to cut it short: she
told me how she felt about me - I said it back: but I only
said it because I felt I had to. That's not really what I
feel - so end of story.
The doorbell sounds and Frasier trys to usher Martin away.
Frasier: Well, listen dad, there's my date. I'm sorry for butting
into your life but I happen to be concerned about you. I
find it hard to believe but your wellfare happens to be very
important to me.
Frasier pushes Martin into the kitchen before switching on his
Vivaldi. Frasier opens the door to Sherry. He quickly turns off the
music as Martin sees who it is.
Sherry: Hi Frasier.
Frasier: Ah, Sherry.
Sherry: Hi Martin.
Martin: Hey.
Sherry: You left your Sinatra tape in my car.
Martin: Oh thanks, I've been looking for that.
Sherry: Well there you go. [places it on table] Bye.
Martin: So long.
She leaves and Frasier goes back to his Spanish inquisition.
Frasier: I saw that dad! I saw the way you looked at her. You can't
convince me you don't feel the same way about her that she
does about you!
Martin: I appreciate what you're doing, I really do but STOP!
Frasier: Alright, fine, it's your life. I wouldn't interfere.
As Martin exits to his bedroom as Frasier decides to interfere anyway
and steps out into the corridor to get back Sherry.
Frasier: Wait, can you just stay for a minutes - I think I can
straighten this whole thing out.
Sherry: Oh, it sure didn't look like he wanted to.
Frasier: Yes, well he's just being his stubborn, ordinary self.
Sherry: I do miss that!
Frasier: Alright, I'll just go and talk to him: stay here.
However just as Frasier's about to go back in Frasier's third date
comes up on the elevator.
Leslie: Frasier.
Frasier: Oh Leslie.
Leslie: Sorry, I'm a little early.
Sherry: [to Frasier:] Way to go Fras'!
Frasier: [worried:] Oh dear God, Sherry this is Leslie. Leslie,
Sherry, Leslie come on in. [she does]
Sherry: Frasier can I use the girl's room?
Frasier: No. [Leslie gives a wierd look] Oh, no need to ask.
Sherry enters the powder room as Frasier takes Leslie's coat.
Frasier: May I take your coat? Yes, [takes it] there we are. You see
Sherry is my father's lady friend and they're going through
a bit of a rough patch. If you excuse for just a moment, I
have to talk with him: just a minute.
Leslie: No, take your time. I can always chat with Sherry!
Frasier: No, no. I mean, look at this fabulous sunset, itsn't that
something.
Leslie: [at window:] Wow. Even more stunning than I remembered.
Frasier: [staring at her:] Yes, it is! Excuse me for a minute...
[remembers:] Oh wait, some wine?
As before he holds the glass to her and they clink:
Frasier: To....[getting bored:] possibilities.
Martin enters the room from his bedroom - walking to the kitchen.
Frasier: Oh dad.
Martin: Oh don't worry, I won't get in the way. I'll just go grab a
beer!
Frasier: Oh, no trouble at all dad.
Martin enters the kitchen as Frasier rushes with him.
Frasier: Dad, you and Sherry..
Martin: [had enough:] Oh jeez, I don't believe this! Frasier, it's
over: she's gone - she's out of my life!
However she rather comes back into his life when he sees her coming
out of the powder room.
Martin: What the hell's she doing here?
Frasier: She came in to borrow the powder room, I'll be right back.
To avoid Sherry and Leslie chatting Frasier pops back out again.
Frasier: How's everything out here?
Sherry: Fine, how's everything in there?
Frasier: Fine, fine. I think I could just need a few more minutes.
Leslie: [to Sherry:] Are you through with the powder room?
Sherry: Oh sure, it's all yours!
Leslie enters the powder room.
Sherry: Frasier, take all the time you need. I'll entertain your
friend.
Frasier: [laughing worried:] Oh, what and miss this fabulous sunset?
Sherry: [at window:] Oh yeah, look at that! I forgot how beautiful
it is.
Frasier: So it is!
Confused Frasier remembers wine and hands a glass to Sherry. He is
about to make his usual "To possibilities" toast but realises he's
gone mad. He just pushes Sherry out onto the balcony instead.
Frasier: [shouting to Sherry:] Two minutes, no more.
Leslie opens the powder room door confused.
Frasier: Oh not you Leslie.
As she re-enters the powder room as Frasier runs into the kitchen to
his father.
Martin: Look, I don't know what you're doing. But you go right back
out there and get rid of her.
Frasier: Dad, I am not trying to torture you.
Martin: Well then you're doing a bad job.
Frasier: Alright, listen, I'm still a bit confused about something
maybe you can help me understand it. You said that you don't
have any feelings for this woman. Alright then fine,
[sarcastic:] why is it for the last three months you've been
happier than since my mom died.
Martin: Hey, you just leave your mother out of this!
Frasier: I didn't mean to bring her into this. That's not what I'm
talking about. [realises:] Dad, is that what this about?
Mom?
Martin: No, alright.
Frasier: Listen, I'm a psychiatrist.
Martin: Well I don't need a pyschiatrist and I don't need you help
Frasier: Dad, that is just classic defence...
They carry on arguing until Martin picks up a dinner plate and
smashes it on another dinner plate. They look at each other with
guilt. Frasier looks back at Leslie who is now sitting on the couch.
Frasier: [to Leslie:] Excuse me, butterfingers!
He goes back to Martin.
Frasier: Now listen dad, I do not mean to upset you. I believe have I
feeling that the feelings that you're going through here are
feelings of guilt. It's probably natural to feel that way -
my God I understand exactly what you're going through.
Martin: No, you don't, no you don't. You don't understand at all:
when you've been married for thirty five years you never
thought there could be someone else. And one day you hear
yourself say "I love you" to another woman. Maybe then
you'll understand what I'm going through.
Frasier: Dad, there's a time after my first marriage was breaking up:
I was talking to mom. She said to me "Frasier, you've gotta
promise me you're not going to give up". I said "Mom,
please, the last thing I want to hear is a bunch of cliché's
and that we're all put on the earth to love each other, and
how it's certainly possible for the human heart to love more
than one person." I said, "Alright mom give me one good
reason to ever let myself fall in love again". She said,
"Because I said so and I'm your mother!"
Martin: [smiles:] Yeah, but it sure doesn't help reminding me what a
great lady she was.
Frasier: Well, does it help to remind you that Sherry's a pretty
great lady too? God, dad she makes you happy. Niles and I
would give anything to have what you have. Well, not WHAT
you have but what you HAVE.
Martin: Yeah, she's a pretty great lady isn't she? I don't know,
she'd probably be better off with some guy who isn't going
through all this.
Frasier: Well don't you think you should let her decide that.
He takes these words and slowly walks up to the balcony. Sherry is on
the balcony looking over Seattle as Marty enters.
Martin: Hia.
Sherry: [emotionally:] Hi.
Martin shuts the door as Frsier watches the two happy together at
last with the whole city at their feet.
Frasier: [to Leslie:] Well it looks like those two could use a little
privacy. You mind if I take you to the restaurant a little
early?
Leslie: I think that's a good idea.
Frasier: We can finish off the wine later... not that we're coming
back here... not that I'm obverse to that of course... I
mean if you're in the mood for a night count.... a night
cap!
Leslie: Well it looks like you dad and his girlfriend are patching
things up.
Frasier: [getting coat:] Yes. Gee, I can't thank you enough for being
tolerant about the time delay.
Leslie: [laughs]
Frasier: You'll be surprised lately women just fly into rages of
intolerance under the slightest profication....
Sherry: [enters with Marty:] Wait, Leslie, before you go. I just
want to say something.
Frasier: Oh good Lord, step lively!
Sherry: Listen you are a lucky girl to be with someone as sweet as
Frasier. He just did a real nice thing for his dad and me.
Frasier: Thank you Sherry. [precarious:] Off we go!
Martin: We'll ride down with you, we're going down the street to get
a little Chinese.
Leslie: Why don't we give you a lift?
Frasier: No! I mean, don't you think the walk would do them good?
Leslie: But I think it's starting to rain! [looks out window] Come
on, ride with us.
Sherry: [laughs:] Oh you're such a doll. Leslie, what do you do?
Leslie: Oh, I'm a demetoligist.
Sherry: Good news Frasier, if you get lucky tonight she might just
look at that rash of yours!
Frasier: [bewildered:] Yes.
Sherry: Oh that reminds me of a great joke....
They shut the door. After a few second Frasier walks back in.
Frasier: Hold the elevator, will you. [calls:] Eddie!
Eddie runs into the room and jumps straight onto the table to eat the
food for a third time.
Frasier: Well you could at least act surprised!
Frasier exits as Eddie finishes it off.
End Of Act Two. [Time: 43:00]
Credits:
Café Nerovsa - the next day.
Frasier and Niles are chatting at the counter about last night's
disaster. Niles explains he has a date - she enters the Café and sits
with him as Frasier leaves. She is that waitress. However, whilst
Frasier is leaving the Café he spots Sherry. He begins chatting with
her and shows Niles and the waitress to her. Sherry can't wait to
intervein. Niles ends up giving his seat up to Sherry and just
walking out of there - trying to hit Frasier as he went.
Legal Stuff
This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by Nick Hartley. This episode
summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright of Paramount
Productions and NBC. Printed without permission.
