[3.21] Where There's Smoke There's Fired




Where There's Smoke There's Fired               Written by Joe Keenan
                                                Directed by Philip
                                                Charles MacKenzie 
=====================================================================
Production Code: 3.21.
Original Airdate on NBC: 30th April 1996
Transcript written on 17th October 1999
Transcript revised on 11th August 2000


Transcript {nick hartley}

[Act One.]

[Scene One - Frasier's Apartment.
Martin is reading the newspaper as Daphne is wandering about the 
living room when the doorbell sounds. She shouts "coming" then opens 
the door to find Niles on his mobile phone. She then goes back to the 
table to clip coupons.]

 Daphne: Oh, Dr. Crane.
  Niles: [into phone:] My God, after all our years together - all the 
         good times - all the bad times. You can't loan me a meager 
         four thousand dollars? You must appreciate how hard it is 
         for me to approach you about this. I thought I meant more to 
         you than this, but apparently I don't. [hangs up] They call 
         themselves the friendly bank!
 Martin: What do you need to borrow money for? 
  Niles: I saw the most exquisite Biedermeier footstool.
 Martin: For four thousand bucks? Niles, your mother and I didn't pay 
         that much for our first house.
  Niles: I know dad, I lived there.
 Martin: Well, I keep telling you, you don't have Maris' money to 
         throw around anymore. You're going to have to start cutting 
         back a little.
  Niles: I have cut back. Last month I told my masseur I could only 
         see him once a week.
 Martin: [sarcastic:] Oh, I remember that scene in "Grapes Of Wrath" 
         when Ma Joad did that.
 Daphne: You know, if you need to save a bit, you should do what I do 
         and cut out coupons.
  Niles: [interested:] Coupons. Well what a wonderful way to 
         economize. [picks up a sheet] Well, I could clip them and 
         give them to my personal shopper.
Frasier: [enters from room] Oh, Niles, good morning.
  Niles: Hey.
Frasier: Daphne, has Bebe Glazer called back yet?
 Daphne: 'fraid not.
  Niles: You're still consorting with that barracuda?
Frasier: Well, a barracuda is what you want in an agent, Niles. It's 
         just that the station's been sold, I was hoping she might 
         have some scuttlebutt on the new owner. 

[The doorbell sounds.]

Frasier: I must admit she's rather hard to get a hold of these days.
  Niles: Oh, really? I thought one just drew a pentagram on the floor 
         and chanted "I summon thee" three times.
Frasier: [opens door:] Hello Roz.
    Roz: [steps in] Hey.

[They all shout their greetings.]

Frasier: What have you got on the new owner?
    Roz: Oh, plenty.
Frasier: Yeah?
    Roz: His name is Wilfred S. Boone, but he likes to be called Big 
         Willy.
 Daphne: Well there's a little snapshot of his psyche right there.
    Roz: He's an eighty five year old Texan. Practically no formal 
         education but he went from errand boy at a radio station to 
         owning his own media empire worth six hundred million.
  Niles: [distracted by coupon:] This is great, I don't even know 
         what "Renuzit" is, but it's twenty cents off and I want it.
    Roz: You're clipping coupons?
  Niles: [proudly] I'm economizing.
    Roz: Oh well it's about time, you spend money like a drunken 
         sailor.
  Niles: She said authoritatively.
Frasier: Excuse me, could we get back to the subject at hand, please?

[Frasier begins looking through papers.]

 Martin: What are you so antsy about?
Frasier: Dad, Wilfred S. Boone.
    Roz: [correcting:] Big Willy.
Frasier: Please, Roz, I just can't say that yet, alright? Wilfred S. 
         Boone owns thirty radio stations across the country. If he 
         likes you he's been known to syndicate your show nationwide. 
         So, I'm trying to find out if we have anything in common, an 
         angle or two, if you will, so what are his interests Roz?
    Roz: Well, it's all in there. He likes whittling, rodeos, the 
         novels of "Zane Grey".
 Martin: [sarcastic:] Gee, Fras'. It's like you two were separated at 
         birth.
    Roz: He also owns a 5,000 acre cattle ranch and the world's 
         largest collection of antique six shooters.
Frasier: Oh dear God, I'm sucking up to Yosemite Sam!

[Scene Two - Radio Station.
Roz and Frasier are walking along the corridors towards the recording 
booth.]

    Roz: I think if we really want to impress Big Willy we should 
         think of some Western theme to do for the show today.
Frasier: Great idea, Roz. [sarcastic:] Why don't we just start the 
         show off with a segment on how to get in touch with your 
         inner young'un.

[Frasier and Roz bump into Bulldog who is listening to Gil's show 
through the door.]

    Gil: [in booth] What a fascinating theory!  Do go on.
Frasier: What's going on?
Bulldog: Oh, this is great. I told Gil the new station owner is 
         a Greek tycoon.
Frasier: He fell for that?
Bulldog: Hook, line, and souvlaki!

[Meanwhile, Gil does his show:]

Gil: You can keep your overripe Camembert and malodorous Stilton, 
     they can't compare with the salty insouciance of Greece's 
     glorious Feta. It's not just for shepherds anymore! This is Gil 
     Chesterton saying Bon Appetite, or as we say in Athens, Kali 
     Orexi! [presses button]

[Bulldog falls into the booth laughing as Frasier explains.]

Frasier: Oh Gil, you've been had. The station owner isn't Greek, he's 
         from Texas.
Bulldog: [to Gil] You are so easy!
    Gil: Well, I hope you're happy. I've just given four stars to a 
         restaurant called "The Taste Of Greece". Which trust me, is 
         no misnomer.
Bulldog: Well that's what you deserve, trying to suck up to some 
         senile old coot!

[The senile old coot approaches the booth and hears him without 
Bulldog noticing.]

Bulldog: Hell, he probably can't eat anything but strained peas and 
         farina! [laughs]
Frasier: [stopping him:] Uh, Mr Boone?
  Boone: [strong Texean accent:] Yeah, that's right.
Frasier: Pleasure to see you. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. This is Roz 
         Doyle, Gil Chesterton and... [points at Bulldog]
Bulldog: [covering up:] I'm Skippy the lunch boy. So, uh, that's two 
         strained peas and a farina for the big guy. [exits]
    Gil: Oh, uh, Skippy? Change my order! I've got a sudden hankering 
         for baby-back ribs and corn bread. [exits after him]
  Boone: Oh, I've been looking for you Dr. Crane. I have a little 
         problem and they told me, you're just the fella' who could 
         fix it. Oh, I hope I'm not imposing. 
Frasier: Oh, no, don't be silly Mr. Boone.
  Boone: Well, actually, I prefer "Big Willy". 
Frasier: Don't be silly, Big Willy. [Roz and Frasier keep in their 
         laughter]
  Boone: You see, I'm engaged to be married.
Frasier: Oh, congratulations.
  Boone: Well, sweet young thing. Just nuts about me. Problem is, she 
         smokes.
Frasier: Oh lord, that is a very bad habit.   
  Boone: Oh, it's a vile habit! Would have destroyed my affection for 
         her if, well she didn't possess certain compensating gifts. 
         Anyway, as a favour to me, could you help her?
Frasier: Well, I'll certainly try. Just keep in mind, though, 
         addiction is fraught with many complex issues. Length of 
         habit, motivation...
  Boone: Forgive me, sometimes I don't express myself too clearly. 
         When I say could you help her, what I meant to say was 
         [definite:] HELP HER!
Frasier: Consider it done. 
  Boone: Much obliged. She'll be in touch. [exits]
Frasier: That's me, Dr. Frasier Crane, bimbo wrangler.
    Roz: Frasier, stop it! This is a golden opportunity! You make
         this little tootsie quit smoking and we're halfway to 
         syndication.
   Bebe: [enters booth:] Did someone just say the word, syndication, 
         or do I just hear it every time I lay eyes on my favorite 
         client.
Frasier: Oh, Bebe. [mumbles]
   Bebe: Is something wrong, dear?
Frasier: Well, yes.
    Roz: We just met Big Willy...
Frasier: Oh, he thinks I'm some sort of a magician. He wants me to 
         play therapist to his little fianceé. No doubt some gold 
         digging pirahna so devoid of scruples that she's willing to 
         rob the coffin and... 

[Frasier notices that Bebe and Big Willy and now exchanging kisses 
through the glass partition.]

Frasier: Oh dear God!
   Bebe: Isn't it wonderful? We met last month and it was love at 
         first sight.
    Roz: First sight of what? His bankbook and a cardiogram. Two 
         minutes. [exits to booth]
   Bebe: I'm hurt that she can even joke about such a thing. I 
         love that dear sweet old man with every fibre of my being. 
         [lights a cigarette]
Frasier: [sarcastic:] I'm sure you do. I'm afraid there won't even be 
         a wedding if you can't get rid of that rotten habit, and 
         he's just ordered me to see that you do!
   Bebe: God, you'd think a touch of emphysema were the end of 
         the world!
  Boone: [enters] What's that in your hand, woman?
   Bebe: Sorry, pud'n. Bebe slipped.
Frasier: Just that all important last puff. [stubbs it out for her]
  Boone: Well see that it is! Well, Dr. Crane, I'm heading out of 
         town for three days. When I get back on Sunday, I expect my 
         little gal here to be smoke free by then.
Frasier: [worried] In three days?
  Boone: Now, you do whatever it takes to help her, doc! Drugs, 
         straight jackets, electro shock...
   Bebe: You see how he dotes on me.

[Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment.
Bebe is laying on the couch as Frasier wanders around the room 
creating a stereotypical psychiatrist scene.]

Frasier: Excellent progress, Bebe! You've really dived into the 
         emotional void that is the route of your addiction. Your 
         fear of abandonment, your fear of those you trust will 
         suddenly turn their backs when you expect them to... 
         [doorbell sounds] Excuse me. 
   Bebe: My God, it all seems so clear now. You're a miracle worker.
Frasier: If I had a dime for every time... well...[opens door] Niles!
  Niles: Hello Frasier, I noticed you were out of capers the other 
         night so I got you this. 

[Niles takes a massive jar of capers out of his bag. Frasier holds 
it.]

Frasier: Thank you Niles, but why so many?
  Niles: I just discovered a place called "Price Buster's Warehouse".  
         You have to buy in bulk, but the savings are extraordinary 
         and they have a huge selection. I found french fries and 
         french doors in the same aisle. 
Frasier: Well, the next time you go back be sure to buy me a thousand 
         swordfish so I can use these up!
  Niles: You laugh, but I could do it like that. [clicks fingers] So, 
         how goes the great smoke-out?
   Bebe: Until today, I had no idea what a brilliant therapist your 
         brother is. He has tunneled his way into the very depths of 
         my psyche. 
  Niles: Well, let's hope he sent a canary down first.
   Bebe: Well, I'll be running along. [to Frasier] I'll see you at 
         ten tomorrow, and in the mean time, it's exercise, lots of 
         fresh spring water and nicotine gum for cravings.
Frasier: That's my girl.
  Niles: Oh, Bebe, you know I'm writing a paper on addiction and I'd 
         love to ask you some questions unless there's some reason 
         you're eager to be off?
   Bebe: [covering up:] Me? No. No, not at all.
  Niles: Well, I just need to discuss a personal matter with Frasier, 
         first.
   Bebe: Of course, I'll give you some privacy. Time for my water 
         anyway. [exits to kitchen]
Frasier: Yes Niles?
  Niles: Let her out that door, she'll smoke half a pack before the 
         elevator hits the lobby.
Frasier: How do you know that? You hardly spoke to her.
  Niles: Well, obviously you didn't see the crazed cunning glint in 
         her eyes.
Frasier: She always looks like that, she's an agent.
  Niles: I know about addiction. It was the exact same look Maris 
         used to get during the cough syrup years. The only way to 
         deal with it is to lock her up, take her money and watch her 
         like a hawk until it's out of her system.
Frasier: That means she would have to stay here for the weekend.

[Daphne and Martin have entered and they have heard Frasier's last 
sentence.]

 Daphne: Who's staying all weekend?
  Niles: Bebe Glazer. 
 Martin: [worried:] Here?
 Daphne: [worried:] What does she have to stay here for?
Frasier: She's trying to quit smoking.
 Martin: [sarcastic:] Oh great, that means she'll be extra loveable.
Frasier: Not to worry dad, there is no reason she has to stay for the 
         weekend. Bebe and I made a real breakthrough today. If 
         you don't believe me, just come on into the kitchen and 
         you'll see that I'm right.

[Meanwhile Bebe is smoking in the kitchen. When she hears the 
previous she stubbs it out and puts it in her handbag.]

Bebe: I'm sorry I can't stay and help you with your paper, Niles, 
      wedding preperations and all. But I'll remember those helpful 
      hints. Exercise, gum, and lots of water.

[Bebe turns round and we see that blue smoke is being perimitted from 
her handbag.]

  Niles: Water should come in handy for putting out those pesky purse 
         fires. [Bebe begins to whack her bag]
Frasier: All right Niles, secure the door! Bebe, you are not going 
         anywhere, you're staying for the weekend. Now give me that 
         purse.
   Bebe: All right. Let me remove one very precious momento.
Frasier: Very well.

[She presses the bag to her face and desperately sucks up smoke.]

Frasier: Oh, stop it!

[End Of Act One. (Time: 10:10)]

[Act Two.]

[Scene One - Frasier's Apartment.
Niles, Frasier, Martin and Daphne are crowded around the dinner table 
as Bebe eats like a scavenger.]

   Bebe: More!
 Daphne: What again?
 Martin: That's her third serving.
Frasier: Now, now dad, it's flattering to Daphne that Bebe finds her 
         food so tasty.
   Bebe: I'm orally fixated. I could eat a half-sub wharf rat if you 
         put some gravy on it!
 Daphne: I'll bear that in mind come breakfast time.
Frasier: No, please, please. Let's all try to remain supportive of 
         Bebe. I think she's really doing rather well.
  Niles: So, I hear your fiancee is well to do?
   Bebe: Very. [to Martin:] You gonna eat that fat? [takes it from 
         him]
  Niles: Well, marrying money can have it's perils. Ten or fifteen 
         years down the line, after you've adapted to a lifestyle 
         now totally beyond your means, you can find yourself cast 
         aside a hollow husk, penniless and crushed.
Frasier: Niles, Big Willy's eighty-five, he's on his third pacemaker.
  Niles: Ah! Mazel tov!
 Martin: [to Bebe] Just out of curiosity, had this guy ever seen you 
         eat?
   Bebe: After dinner is the time I need a cigarette most. As long as 
         I don't stop eating, I'll be fine.
Frasier: This is very good, Bebe. You're already identifying those 
         moments that trigger your worst cravings.
   Bebe: [sarcastic:] Yeah, yeah!
Frasier: No, really, perhaps it would help to know that you're not 
         alone. Dad is an ex-smoker, dad can you tell us about when 
         you crave a cigarette most?
 Martin: Ah, when I had insomnia. I'd get up, pour a water glass full 
         of Bourbon, light a cigarette, next thing you know, I 
         couldn't keep my eyes open. Nothing relaxes you like a 
         cigarette. Of course, gives you a hell of a headache in the 
         morning.
 Daphne: Well, I smoked for years but I never became addicted. To 
         this day, I can buy a pack, have a cig or two, toss them in 
         a drawer and not crave another for months.
   Bebe: You know there's a word for people who can do that... what 
         is it? Oh yes; bitch!
  Niles: There's no need to be insulting just because you're 
         wrestling with an unhealthy and disgusting habit.
   Bebe: It isn't disgusting, it's wonderful!
Frasier: Now, Bebe, tell me, what is so wonderful about smoking?
   Bebe: Everything. [with actions:] I like the way a fresh firm pack 
         feels in my hand. I like peeling away that little piece of 
         cellophane and seeing it twinkle in the light. I like 
         coaxing that first sweet cylinder out of its hiding place 
         and bringing it slowly up to my lips. [getting more erotic:] 
         Striking a match, watching it burst into a perfect little 
         flame and knowing that soon that flame will be inside me. 
         [laughs] I love the first puff, pulling it into my lungs. 
         Little fingers of smoking filling me, carrasing me, feeling 
         that warmth penetrate deeper and deeper until I think I'm 
         going to burst then... [immitates the noise of smoke 
         flooding out of her] ...watching it flow out of me in a 
         lovely sinuous cloud, no two ever quite the same. 

[By this time she's caused the rest to go into a daydream at this 
"erotic" story. After some time Daphne breaks the silence.]

Daphne: More potatoes anyone?

[No sooner has she put them on the table does everybody leap at them 
quickly putting as many as they can on their plates.]

[Scene Two - Frasier's Apartment.
It is half past five in the morning when Bebe is fast asleep on the 
couch. Daphne, in her dressing gown, slowly creeps into the room. She 
has a pack of cigarettes in her hand. She slowly opens the balcony 
door so as not to awake Bebe. She stays fast asleep as Daphne puts 
the cigarette to her lips. However, the small sound of the burning 
match wakes Bebe up in an instant. The sound is precious to her so 
she goes over to the smoking Daphne.]

  Bebe: You're up early, Miss. Moon!
Daphne: [nervous:] God, you startled me. Ha-he, ever since your 
        little speech about smoking, I haven't been able to think 
        about anything else. Please, don't mention this to Dr. Crane.
  Bebe: Silence has its price, dear. And I think we both know what 
        that is.
Daphne: Forget it! You can't make me give you one of these. 
  Bebe: [sarcastic:] Oh, can't I?

[Bebe slams the balcony door shut, locking Daphne out.]

Daphne: You open up right now.
  Bebe: All right, missy, here's the drill! You drop those 
        cigarettes, I'll open the door, you kick 'em over to me, 
        capiche?
Daphne: No!

[Daphne runs to the over door but it is already locked.]

  Bebe: [getting to her:] Oh, is it cold outside? 
Daphne: All right, you asked for it! 

[Daphne takes the packet and holds it over the balcony.]

   Bebe: No! No! Please, I beg you.
 Daphne: Oh, oh no. My fingers are getting weak. Oh, I'm losing my 
         grip.
   Bebe: Stop, please! I'll give you anything you want. [quickly:] 
         I'll make you a star! [opens door]
Frasier: [enters] What the hell's going on out here?
   Bebe: Daphne was smoking!
 Daphne: She made me!
Frasier: Daphne, gimme those.
 Daphne: [enters] Oh, look at me, I'm all damp and chilled to the 
         bone.
Frasier: I'll get you a towel. My God it's five thirty in the 
         morning!

[Frasier opens the powder room door where we see Martin having a 
cigarette. He quickly stubs it out and walks out with his glass of 
bourbon.]

Frasier: Dad!
 Martin: I couldn't sleep.
Frasier: Have you people all lost your minds? Now listen, get back to 
         bed, everyone of you!
   Bebe: Thank god you came in when you did, she was praying on my 
         weakness. Who knows what I might have done, probably... 
         THIS!

[Bebe snatches the pack and makes a run for it.]

Frasier: Oh, get her!  Stop that woman!

[Martin blocks Bebe.  Daphne gets in her way and Bebe throws her onto 
the couch.]

Frasier: Bebe, you will not be allowed to smoke a cigarette in this 
         house!

[Frasier corners her and wrestles the pack away.]

Frasier: All right, that's it! Back to bed!

[However, Bebe doesn't stop there. She jumps onto Frasier's back and 
stays there trying to reach the packet he is holding in his hand.]

Frasier: Oh my God, you're insane, woman!

[They fall to the floor, wrestling.]

Martin: That's it, no more house guests. 

[Martin exits to his bedroom.  Frasier pins Bebe to the floor, with 
the pack trapped underneath her.]

   Bebe: Get off me, you brute!
Frasier: Hand them over!
   Bebe: Never!

[Frasier pushes Bebe to the ground and lays on her as the phone 
sounds.]

 Daphne: That'll be the neighbours! [answers:] Hello? Oh, hello, one 
         moment please. [to Frasier:] It's Big Willy! 
Frasier: [takes phone and nicely as Bebe struggles:] 	Big Willy, 
         hello!  No, no, it's not too early, everybody's up! [Bebe 
         snarls] Well, you know, there have been a few minor 
         setbacks, but I'm keeping on top of her, yeah. [Bebe snarls 
         again] Oh yeah, I know she'd love to say hi, hang on.
   Bebe: [quickly changed into a sweet Texan into phone:] Hello 
         pudd'n. I'm fine, and you? Oh, nothing's too much trouble 
         for you daddy, bye now.
Frasier: [takes phone:] Yes, sir. Oh, oh, really? No, no, I'm very 
         flattered. Yes, of course, I'd love to, I'll talk to you 
         this evening, bye bye. [hands phone to Daphne] Thank you, 
         Daphne. All right, now listen up!. He thinks I'm very 
         gifted.
   Bebe: Mm.
Frasier: He thinks I'm wasting my talents in just one city! My God, 
         he wants to take me national, don't you get it?! Unless you
         ruin it for me.
   Bebe: [crys] Oh my God, I'm sorry. Here, take 'em. [hands over 
         packet] I don't know what came over me.
Frasier: Well, don't be too hard on yourself Bebe, after all, 
         addiction to Nicotine is a very very difficult... hey wait a 
         minute. This pack is half empty. 

[Bebe runs out onto the balcony with half a dozen cigarettes, puts 
one in her mouth, and pats her pockets for a light.]

Frasier: For God's sake, I don't care anymore!  You know, I can't 
         help you, nobody can.  You want to ruin it for both of us?  
         Here, [tosses her a lighter] go ahead, knock yourself out. 
         [Bebe begins to light cigarette]. I only wish I could be 
         there when it happens.
   Bebe: When what happens?
Frasier: When you see that newspaper headline, "Big Willy Boone, 
         Millionaire, Dead." [Bebe grins; she can see it] Oh, how I 
         wish I could be there when you watch the funeral on the 
         news, watch the casket being slipped into the ground. Only, 
         you won't be watching that, oh no no, you'll be watching the 
         widow Boone. Tiffany, perhaps, or better yet, Kelli with an 
         "I"!.
   Bebe: Stop it!
Frasier: You'll picture her wearing your jewels, sailing in your 
         yachts, sleeping with your jigolos, but oh you won't be sad, 
         no, no, no, because you'll have your cigarette. Yeah!  
         Clutched in your nicotine-stained teeth, smoke whirling 
         about your once pretty now creased, leathery, smoke-
         ravaged...
   Bebe: Enough! [hands over cigarettes] You are one hell of a 
         therapist!

[Scene Three - Frasier's Apartment.
Bebe is dressed in her wedding gown on the balcony. She has her back 
turned away from us and her veil is covering her face. Roz and 
Frasier are looking glum on the couch as Martin enters.]

 Martin: Hey, you back from the wedding already?
Frasier: There was no wedding.
    Roz: No wedding, no syndication deal...
 Martin: [notices Bebe:] What's she doing here?
    Roz: No money, no fame.
Frasier: Well, you might say things hit a bit of a snag. 
    Roz: No beach house, no pool boy...
Frasier: Oh will you get a grip, Roz?
 Martin: Well, what went wrong?
Frasier: Well, they were halfway down the aisle.  Big Willy beaming 
         proudly, Bebe radiant, supporting Big Willy on her arm.  
         When suddenly he clutched his heart, and his head slumped 
         against Bebe's shoulder.  Of course we were all concerned at 
         first, but then suddenly it seemed like he was all right 
         because they kept moving on down the aisle.  But if you 
         looked carefully, you could see Bebe's little biceps bulging 
         through her wedding gown, and I swear I noticed daylight 
         between Big Willy's dress boots and the carpet.  Well, once 
         they got up to the minister the jig was pretty well up, 
         despite Bebe's valiant attempts to animate his features by 
         twisting the loose skin at the back of his neck.  You know, 
         I've never seen a woman more crushed.
 Martin: Well, if I were you I'd get her away from that balcony rail. 
         The doorman gets ticked if you even through a piece of gum 
         over the side. 
Frasier: [opening balcony door:] Bebe dear, please. Come on in. [she 
         does] There's a girl. All right, let me have a look at ya'.  
         Come on, here we are.

[Frasier lifts the headress to reveal Bebe with a cigarette clenched 
between her teeth.]

Frasier: Well, I don't really blame you dear, you know Roz and I are 
         both upset too.  You know, look at it this way: at least 
         you're no worse off than you were before. 
   Bebe: You don't know the things I did for that man.  The depraved, 
         Western-themed appetites I satisfied!
    Roz: He was eighty five, how bad could it have been?
   Bebe: Ever worn a saddle?
    Roz: Do I have to answer that?
Frasier: Well, you know, Bebe, there are other Big Willys out there, 
         better ones, richer, older, impotent.
   Bebe: Oh dear, you always know what to say. I know what hell I put 
         you through over this. I insist that you take this small 
         token of my gratitude. [hands over something]
Frasier: Oh Bebe really... [notices it:] look Roz, it's a gold Rolex, 
         oh my goodness. Bebe, where did you get this?
   Bebe: Just don't wear it to the funeral.

[End Of Act Two. (Time: 21:05)]

Credits:

[Gil is in the radio booth doing his show, wearing a cowboy hat, 
Texan tie and eating corn bread. A man enters and tells him the news, 
he quickly throws off his hat in delight and spits out the remaining 
Texan delights in his mouth.]


Thanks To...

Transcript written by Nicholas Hartley.
Transcript revised by Mike Lee.
Edited by Nicholas Hartley.


Legal Stuff

 This episode capsule is copyright 1999 by "The Frasier Files". 
 This episode summary remains property of Frasier, Copyright of 
 Paramount Productions and NBC. Printed without permission. 

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